
Introduction: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
“The Hug” by Thom Gunn first appeared in his 1992 collection The Man with Night Sweats, a book that explores themes of love, intimacy, mortality, and resilience during the AIDS crisis. The poem stands out for its tender portrayal of companionship and enduring affection between lovers, celebrating a moment of physical closeness that transcends time and aging. Gunn highlights the purity of human connection in lines such as, “It was not sex, but I could feel / The whole strength of your body set, / Or braced, to mine”, emphasizing that the embrace is not erotic but rather an affirmation of enduring love and trust. The poem’s popularity lies in its fusion of simplicity and emotional depth, where a fleeting hug revives memories of youthful passion—“As if we were still twenty-two / When our grand passion had not yet / Become familial”. By grounding universal themes of intimacy and memory in precise physical detail, Gunn captures both the fragility and strength of human bonds, making the poem one of the most memorable pieces in his later career.
Text: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
It was your birthday, we had drunk and dined
Half of the night with our old friend
Who’d showed us in the end
To a bed I reached in one drunk stride.
Already I lay snug,
And drowsy with the wine dozed on one side.
I dozed, I slept. My sleep broke on a hug,
Suddenly, from behind,
In which the full lengths of our bodies pressed:
Your instep to my heel,
My shoulder-blades against your chest.
It was not sex, but I could feel
The whole strength of your body set,
Or braced, to mine,
And locking me to you
As if we were still twenty-two
When our grand passion had not yet
Become familial.
My quick sleep had deleted all
Of intervening time and place.
I only knew
The stay of your secure firm dry embrace.
Annotations: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
| Stanza / Lines | Simple & Detailed Annotation | Literary Devices |
| Stanza 1 (Lines 1–6) “It was your birthday, we had drunk and dined … dozed on one side.” | The speaker recalls a birthday celebration with a friend where they drank and ate late into the night. Afterwards, they were shown to a bed. The speaker, tipsy and tired, fell asleep quickly, drowsy from wine and comfort. This sets the stage of intimacy, warmth, and familiarity. | 🌙 Imagery – of wine, dining, and drowsiness creates atmosphere. 🌀 Enjambment – lines flow naturally like drifting into sleep. ⏳ Temporal setting – signals memory and context. 🎭 Tone – relaxed, nostalgic. |
| Stanza 2 (Lines 7–11) “I dozed, I slept. My sleep broke on a hug … against your chest.” | The speaker’s sleep is interrupted by a sudden embrace from behind. The hug is described physically: feet, shoulder-blades, chest pressed together. The imagery is intimate but not overtly sexual, emphasizing closeness and bodily connection. | 💓 Sensory imagery – touch (“instep,” “shoulder-blades”). ⚡ Caesura – “I dozed, I slept.” conveys suddenness. 🤲 Symbolism – the hug symbolizes love and trust. 🔄 Contrast – “not sex” but still intimate. |
| Stanza 3 (Lines 12–20) “It was not sex, but I could feel … become familial.” | The speaker emphasizes that the embrace is not sexual, but carries the same intensity. The hug recalls their youth (“as if we were still twenty-two”), a time when their passion was new and burning. Now, the relationship has matured into something more stable, familiar, yet still deeply affectionate. | 🕰️ Flashback – to age twenty-two (past passion). 🌸 Juxtaposition – “grand passion” vs. “familial love.” 🌟 Metaphor – passion as a stage of life. 💞 Tone shift – from fiery passion to secure familiarity. |
| Stanza 4 (Lines 21–26) “My quick sleep had deleted all … firm dry embrace.” | In the final stanza, the hug makes the speaker forget all time and place—only the embrace exists. The hug provides a sense of security, firmness, and stability. It symbolizes enduring love that transcends the passage of time, blending past passion with present companionship. | 🌌 Timelessness – “deleted all of intervening time and place.” 🔒 Symbolism – the hug as permanence, security. 🎶 Rhythm – steady, mirroring heartbeat embrace. 🌿 Imagery – “secure firm dry embrace” evokes solidity and comfort. |
Literary And Poetic Devices: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
| 🌟 Device | 📖 Definition | 📝 Example from Poem | 🔍 Explanation |
| 🌹 Imagery | Use of vivid, sensory language to create mental pictures. | “Your instep to my heel, / My shoulder-blades against your chest.” | Creates a tactile image of closeness, letting readers feel the physical embrace. |
| 🌙 Symbolism | Use of an object, image, or event to represent deeper meaning. | “The hug” itself | Symbolizes intimacy, enduring love, and emotional security beyond physical desire. |
| 🔥 Contrast | Juxtaposing two different ideas to highlight meaning. | “It was not sex, but I could feel…” | Contrasts passion with affection, emphasizing depth of companionship. |
| 💫 Enjambment | Continuation of a sentence without pause beyond a line. | “My quick sleep had deleted all / Of intervening time and place.” | Creates a flowing rhythm that mirrors the smooth continuity of memory and emotion. |
| 🌊 Metaphor | Implied comparison between two things. | “My quick sleep had deleted all / Of intervening time and place.” | Sleep is metaphorically seen as an eraser of time, reviving youthful passion. |
| 🌻 Tone | The attitude or emotional quality of the poem. | Overall tenderness and nostalgia | The gentle, reflective tone conveys love mixed with memory and vulnerability. |
| 🌟 Simile | Comparison using “like” or “as.” | “As if we were still twenty-two.” | Compares the moment of the hug to youthful passion, suggesting timelessness in love. |
| 🎶 Assonance | Repetition of vowel sounds. | “Dozed on one side.” | The long “o” sound softens rhythm, evoking drowsiness and intimacy. |
| 🔔 Consonance | Repetition of consonant sounds, especially at line ends. | “Braced, to mine, / And locking me to you.” | The hard c/k sounds reinforce the sense of strength in the hug. |
| 🌹 Personification | Giving human qualities to non-human things. | “My quick sleep had deleted all / Of intervening time and place.” | Sleep is personified as an active agent erasing time, highlighting dreamlike quality. |
| 🌟 Irony | Contrast between expectation and reality. | “It was not sex, but I could feel…” | Ironically, non-sexual touch conveys a deeper intimacy than sexual passion. |
| 🕊️ Euphony | Pleasant, harmonious sound. | “The stay of your secure firm dry embrace.” | Smooth rhythm and soft consonants make the final line sound calming and secure. |
| ⚡ Juxtaposition | Placing two ideas side by side for effect. | “Grand passion… familial.” | Puts youthful passion next to mature familial love, emphasizing growth of relationship. |
| 🌙 Mood | The emotional atmosphere for readers. | Nostalgic, tender, and intimate | Readers feel warmth and security, as if sharing the private moment. |
| 🪞 Reflection (Memory) | Use of past recollection within the present moment. | “As if we were still twenty-two…” | Shows how memory resurfaces through physical intimacy, collapsing time. |
| 🌀 Caesura | A pause within a line. | “It was not sex, but I could feel…” | The pause after “sex” highlights the distinction, adding weight to the sentiment. |
| 🔮 Hyperbaton (Inversion) | Alteration of normal word order for effect. | “Already I lay snug.” | The inversion gives emphasis to the comfort and immediacy of the speaker’s rest. |
| 🕯️ Theme | Central idea or insight conveyed by the poem. | Love, intimacy, memory, endurance | The poem reveals how human bonds persist beyond time, age, or sexual desire. |
| 💖 End Rhyme & Half Rhyme | Repetition of similar sounding words at line ends. | “Snug” / “hug” ; “chest” / “pressed.” | Creates musicality while reflecting emotional harmony and closeness. |
Themes: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
🌹 Theme 1: Enduring Love Beyond Passion:“The Hug” by Thom Gunn emphasizes how love evolves over time, transcending physical desire to reach a more profound level of intimacy. The poem captures this transformation in lines like, “As if we were still twenty-two / When our grand passion had not yet / Become familial.” Here, Gunn contrasts youthful passion with the deep companionship that develops in later years. The hug is not erotic but conveys strength and unity: “It was not sex, but I could feel / The whole strength of your body set.” This demonstrates that while sexual intensity may fade, emotional closeness remains, sometimes even stronger. The poem suggests that enduring relationships rely on gestures of warmth and presence rather than fleeting physical desires. Gunn’s theme resonates with readers because it celebrates the quiet yet powerful bonds of long-term love, where security and trust become the ultimate expressions of intimacy.
🌙 Theme 2: The Power of Memory and Time: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn presents memory as a transformative force that collapses time and revives past emotions. The speaker describes how the simple embrace erases the years: “My quick sleep had deleted all / Of intervening time and place.” The hug transports him back to an earlier stage of life, recalling passion and energy as though nothing has changed. This treatment of memory portrays intimacy as timeless, unaffected by aging or circumstance. Gunn frames memory not as nostalgic regret but as a gift, rekindled through physical closeness. Even as life progresses and relationships evolve, small gestures can awaken the vibrancy of the past. The theme highlights how love preserves continuity across decades, offering reassurance that affection remains intact. Memory, in this poem, serves as both a comfort and a reminder that deep bonds defy the limitations of time.
🔥 Theme 3: Intimacy Without Sexuality: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn redefines intimacy by separating it from sexuality, presenting touch as a pure expression of connection. The speaker makes this distinction clear: “It was not sex, but I could feel / The whole strength of your body set, / Or braced, to mine.” This moment reveals that intimacy does not always require physical passion; instead, it is found in gestures that affirm emotional unity and mutual reliance. By choosing a hug as the central act, Gunn elevates an everyday gesture into a symbol of human closeness. The poem suggests that non-sexual physical contact can carry profound meaning, reminding readers that true intimacy lies in security and companionship. This theme resonates universally, as it affirms the beauty of affection expressed through simple yet powerful actions, demonstrating how touch conveys trust and reassurance beyond desire.
💖 Theme 4: Security and Emotional Shelter: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn conveys a theme of security and emotional shelter through the physical act of embrace. The closing lines emphasize this sense of safety: “I only knew / The stay of your secure firm dry embrace.” The hug acts as a protective space where the speaker feels shielded from life’s uncertainties, grounding him in love and trust. Gunn highlights how human connection provides stability amid vulnerability, particularly in moments of weariness or reflection. The embrace becomes more than physical contact; it is a sanctuary of belonging and reassurance. In emphasizing firmness and dryness, Gunn suggests solidity and reliability, qualities that define long-term companionship. The poem reveals that emotional security is not fleeting but built through repeated affirmations of presence and care. Thus, the hug symbolizes not just love, but the enduring safety one finds in the constancy of a partner’s embrace.
Literary Theories and “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
| Literary Theory | Application to “The Hug” | References from Poem |
| 🧠 Psychoanalytic Theory | The hug represents unconscious desires for intimacy, security, and a return to youthful passion. The dream-like tone (“I dozed, I slept”) suggests repressed longing emerging in sleep. The separation of sex from love reveals a deeper need for emotional rather than physical fulfillment. | “It was not sex, but I could feel / The whole strength of your body set … / As if we were still twenty-two” |
| 🏳️🌈 Queer Theory | The poem highlights same-sex intimacy in a tender, non-erotic way. Gunn challenges heteronormative norms by showing love existing beyond sex or reproduction. The hug blends romantic and familial categories often kept apart by society. | “It was not sex, but I could feel … / As if we were still twenty-two” |
| 📜 New Criticism (Formalism) | Focuses on structure, imagery, and contrasts. The repetition “I dozed, I slept” mirrors sleep rhythms. The juxtaposition of “grand passion” with “familial” love creates unity between youthful desire and mature stability. | “My quick sleep had deleted all / Of intervening time and place” |
| 👥 Reader-Response Theory | Meaning depends on the reader’s emotions. A younger reader may read it as passion, while an older reader may see mature companionship. The ambiguity between “sex” and “not sex” invites personal interpretation. | “The stay of your secure firm dry embrace” |
Critical Questions about “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
🌹 Critical Question 1: How does Thom Gunn explore the relationship between passion and companionship in “The Hug”?
“The Hug” by Thom Gunn raises the critical question of whether passion inevitably transforms into companionship over time, and whether this transition diminishes or deepens love. The lines “As if we were still twenty-two / When our grand passion had not yet / Become familial” suggest a shift from fiery passion to stable, familial affection. This invites readers to reflect: is such a change a loss of intensity or a gain in maturity? Gunn presents the hug as both a reminder of youthful desire and a celebration of enduring bonds. The question compels us to consider how long-term relationships balance physical passion with emotional security, showing that love does not disappear with age but rather evolves into different forms of intimacy.
🌙 Critical Question 2: What role does memory play in shaping intimacy in “The Hug”?
“The Hug” by Thom Gunn critically engages with how memory redefines the present moment of intimacy. The speaker declares, “My quick sleep had deleted all / Of intervening time and place,” suggesting that physical closeness has the power to collapse decades into a single instant. The question here is whether memory intensifies intimacy or distorts it—are the lovers truly reliving youth, or is this a fleeting illusion of recollection? This question challenges readers to see how memory, triggered by simple gestures, can blur the line between past and present. Gunn encourages us to examine whether intimacy is timeless or whether it is reconstructed by the mind’s longing for continuity. Memory thus becomes a central lens through which the poem invites critical interpretation.
🔥 Critical Question 3: How does “The Hug” redefine the meaning of physical intimacy by separating it from sexuality?
“The Hug” by Thom Gunn questions conventional notions of intimacy by highlighting non-sexual closeness as a profound form of connection. The striking statement, “It was not sex, but I could feel / The whole strength of your body set, / Or braced, to mine,” invites readers to consider how intimacy can exist without eroticism. This raises a critical inquiry: does Gunn suggest that affection divorced from sex is more authentic, or is it simply another form of passion? The hug is framed as an act of emotional locking, as if bodies can communicate strength and devotion beyond desire. This question challenges traditional readings of intimacy in poetry, asking us to explore how tenderness can be more sustaining than physical consummation.
💖 Critical Question 4: In what ways does Gunn present the hug as a metaphor for security and survival in “The Hug”?
“The Hug” by Thom Gunn provokes readers to ask how the physical embrace functions as a metaphor for protection against time, loss, and vulnerability. The closing lines—“I only knew / The stay of your secure firm dry embrace”—emphasize the stability and safety provided by the partner’s arms. The question arises: is the hug merely a symbol of personal love, or does it reflect a larger human need for security amid fragility? Given that The Man with Night Sweats (1992) was written during the AIDS crisis, the hug may be read as a metaphor for survival, grounding individuals in love while confronting mortality. This question pushes readers to explore whether the embrace signifies private affection or broader resilience in the face of suffering.
Literary Works Similar to “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
- 🌙 “Having a Coke with You” by Frank O’Hara
Like Gunn’s poem, O’Hara celebrates intimacy and everyday moments rather than grand gestures, showing how love thrives in the ordinary. - 💞 “The More Loving One” by W. H. Auden
Both poems explore love beyond passion, emphasizing emotional connection, acceptance, and the endurance of affection even through imbalance or change. - 🏳️🌈 “The Man with Night Sweats” by Thom Gunn
From Gunn himself, this poem resonates with “The Hug” in its tender portrayal of the body—not just physicality, but also vulnerability, care, and mortality. - 🌸 “Sonnet 116” by William Shakespeare
Shakespeare’s sonnet and Gunn’s poem share the theme of love as steadfast and timeless, surviving beyond the changes brought by time and age. - 🔒 “i carry your heart with me(i carry it in)” by E. E. Cummings
Like “The Hug”, Cummings emphasizes secure, enduring love, portraying intimacy as protective, grounding, and transcending external circumstances.
Representative Quotations of “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
| 📖 Quotation | 📝 Context | 🔍 Theoretical Perspective |
| 🌹 “It was your birthday, we had drunk and dined / Half of the night with our old friend.” | Opening sets a scene of celebration, intimacy, and shared life. | Formalist: Establishes tone and mood, using ordinary occasion to frame extraordinary intimacy. |
| 🌙 “Already I lay snug, / And drowsy with the wine dozed on one side.” | The speaker’s vulnerable state after drinking creates openness to connection. | Psychoanalytic: Suggests unconscious vulnerability where affection resurfaces in half-sleep. |
| 🔥 “My sleep broke on a hug, / Suddenly, from behind.” | The pivotal moment where intimacy intrudes on rest, reshaping experience. | Phenomenological: Shows the body as the site of perception and meaning. |
| 💖 “It was not sex, but I could feel / The whole strength of your body set.” | Emphasizes non-sexual intimacy, redefining closeness. | Queer Theory: Challenges heteronormative assumptions of intimacy by centering affection without eroticism. |
| 🌊 “As if we were still twenty-two / When our grand passion had not yet / Become familial.” | Reflects on how passion has matured into companionship over time. | Memory Studies: Demonstrates collapse of temporal boundaries where present touch recalls youthful love. |
| ⚡ “My quick sleep had deleted all / Of intervening time and place.” | Memory erases the gap of years, collapsing past and present. | Narratology: Examines time shifts and the poetics of memory in narrative structure. |
| 🕊️ “And locking me to you.” | The embrace becomes a bond of unity and permanence. | Structuralist: Symbol of binding as a sign of relational stability and union. |
| 🌈 “When our grand passion had not yet / Become familial.” | Contrasts passion with stability, acknowledging transformation of love. | Post-structuralist: Deconstructs binaries of passion vs. familial, showing love as fluid. |
| 🪞 “I only knew / The stay of your secure firm dry embrace.” | Final lines where love is embodied in security and physical shelter. | Existentialist: Suggests human survival and meaning through shared presence. |
| 🔮 “The Hug.” (title) | The title elevates a simple gesture into the central metaphor of the poem. | New Historicist: Reads the hug in context of AIDS-era anxieties, where touch symbolizes survival, defiance, and human resilience. |
Suggested Readings: “The Hug” by Thom Gunn
📚 Books
- Gunn, Thom. The Man with Night Sweats. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1992.
📑 Academic Articles
- Gillis, Colin. “Rethinking Sexuality in Thom Gunn’s ‘The Man with Night Sweats.’” Contemporary Literature, vol. 50, no. 1, 2009, pp. 156–82. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/20616416. Accessed 20 Sept. 2025.
- BURT, STEPHEN. “Kinaesthetic Aesthetics: On Thom Gunn’s Poems.” Southwest Review, vol. 84, no. 3, 1999, pp. 386–403. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/43471994. Accessed 20 Sept. 2025.
- SLEIGH, TOM. “Thom Gunn’s New Jerusalem.” Poetry, vol. 194, no. 3, 2009, pp. 231–38. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/25706584. Accessed 20 Sept. 2025.
- Hawlin, Stefan. “Epistemes and Imitations: Thom Gunn on Ben Jonson.” PMLA, vol. 122, no. 5, 2007, pp. 1516–30. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/25501800. Accessed 20 Sept. 2025.
🌐 Poem Websites
- “The Hug by Thom Gunn.” https://poets.org/poem/hug
- “Thom Gunn Poems.” PoemHunter. https://www.poemhunter.com/thom-gunn/poems/


