Introduction: Between the World and Me
Ta-Nehisi Coates presents chilling and detailed descriptions of numerous violent acts he witnessed in his lifetime in his book Between the World and Me. The narrative unveils how African American parents not only considered their children as possessions but also resorted to physical discipline as the primary method of upbringing. The book offers a glimpse into the lives of African American families where parents employed various forms of violence to assert control over their children. Coates articulates that he and his peers were not afraid of external threats but rather feared their own parents, who, out of love, had numerous justifications for resorting to corporal punishment.
Coates provides vivid accounts of parents being apprehensive about leaving their children alone in the streets due to various dangers faced by African American kids. The societal challenges extended beyond domestic concerns, with law enforcement and other members of society exhibiting unfriendliness towards African American people. An incident in the market, where Coates sneaked out to the playground without his parents’ knowledge, resulted in his father resorting to violence as a means of enforcing obedience.
The book underscores that the use of violence within the African American community is not a recent phenomenon. Coates draws from historical examples to illustrate that such practices have been prevalent for an extended period. The American society, particularly for African Americans, has been fraught with difficulties, prompting parents to be vigilant about their children’s safety. Coates captures this sentiment when he writes, “African American people love their children with a kind of obsession. You are all we have, and you come to us endangered. I think we would like to kill you ourselves before seeing you killed by the streets that America made.”
Slavery and Between the World and Me
The book Between the World and Me emphasizes how African American people endured slavery for an extended period in America, imprinting the belief that the use of violence is essential for discipline. Even after the abolition of slavery, the practice persisted within the African American community, as depicted in the book. While Coates’ parents and relatives may have justified the use of violence as a means of instilling discipline, I personally contend that resorting to violence serves no purpose in fostering discipline. There exist alternative techniques through which parents can guide their children to obedience.
Contrary to other animals, when a human child is born, they are already complete human beings with both biological and psychological needs. Modern psychology confirms that children share the same psychological needs as adults. Fulfilling a child’s psychological needs, such as providing respect and care, can influence their behavior positively. Violence, in the form of abusive language or physical punishment, undermines a child’s ego and self-respect, fostering self-hatred. A child raised in an environment of respect and care is less likely to engage in offensive behavior.
Personally, I experienced an upbringing marked by attention, care, and the fulfillment of both biological and psychological needs. This upbringing contributed to my strength, confidence, and sense of responsibility. The values instilled by my parents guide me to reciprocate respect and care towards others. I vehemently oppose the use of any form of punishment. Having received love and respect, I am committed to providing the same to my children. I reject the notion of becoming a monstrous figure to my own children through the use of violence. The utilization of violence changes a child’s perception of the person inflicting it, transforming even a mother or father into a perceived monster. It is crucial to halt any form of violence against children, recognizing them not just as children but as future fathers and mothers. By perpetuating violence, we distort not only the personality of the individual child but also impact the generations yet to come.
Coates and Between the World and Me
Understanding the context presented in Between the World and Me, I must acknowledge the challenging circumstances faced by Coates’ parents. The prevalent violence in American society during that time heightened the awareness of parents, who were acutely aware that their children were not safe in the streets, parks, or markets. For Coates’ parents, the paramount concern was ensuring the safety of their children in the face of potential dangers. Desperation to shield their children from harm led them to employ whatever means necessary to maintain control.
Coates’ parents and other relatives, in utilizing violence for discipline, were acting based on what they had learned from their own upbringing. Limited access to education and parenting resources left them with few alternatives, and resorting to violence was a method they knew to control their children. They were aware that failure to control their children could expose them to more severe dangers outside. In their perspective, the use of violence was a measure to keep their children safe.
Coates’ father, recognizing potential dangers, sought to impart a memorable lesson to his son about the importance of staying close. The only method he knew to convey this lesson was through physical punishment, using his belt to discipline his son. However, it remains imperative to emphasize that the use of violence, in any form, is a brutal and potentially criminal act, particularly when directed towards a child. While the circumstances may have shaped their choices, it is essential to advocate for alternative and non-violent methods of discipline.
Works Cited: Between the World and Me
1۔ Coates, Ta-Nehisi. Between the World and Me. One World, 14 July 2015. Hardcover.
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