“Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee: A Critical Analysis

Introduction: “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

“Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee first appeared in 1986 in his poetry collection The City in Which I Love You. The poem explores themes of family, loss, and memory, with a focus on the shared ritual of eating together. Lee’s detailed description of a family meal—featuring trout seasoned with ginger, green onion, and sesame oil—symbolizes the comfort and connection found in familial bonds. The main idea centers around the act of eating as a way to honor both the living and the departed, as seen in the memory of the speaker’s father. The reason for the poem’s popularity lies in its profound simplicity and emotional depth, encapsulating how small, intimate moments, like a meal shared with family, can evoke powerful feelings of love and loss. The poignant final lines, where the speaker reflects on his father’s death, deepen the emotional resonance, highlighting the inevitability of mortality and the quiet continuity of life. The imagery of the father’s death, likened to a “snow-covered road,” suggests a serene yet sorrowful passage, which speaks to universal experiences of grief and remembrance.

Text: “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

Annotations: “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

Line	Annotation
In the steamer is the trout	The trout, a type of fish, is being cooked in a steamer (a cooking tool).
seasoned with slivers of ginger,	The fish is flavored with thin slices of ginger.
two sprigs of green onion, and sesame oil.	It is also garnished with two small branches of green onion and sesame oil, which adds flavor.
We shall eat it with rice for lunch,	The family is going to eat the trout with rice for their lunch.
brothers, sister, my mother who will	The speaker refers to the family members: brothers, sister, and mother.
taste the sweetest meat of the head,	The mother will enjoy the sweetest part of the fish, which is the head, often considered a delicacy.
holding it between her fingers	She eats the fish delicately, using her fingers.
deftly, the way my father did	She holds and eats it skillfully, just as the speaker’s father used to.
weeks ago. Then he lay down	The father passed away weeks earlier.
to sleep like a snow-covered road	The father’s death is compared to the quiet, peaceful sleep of a road covered in snow.
winding through pines older than him,	The road is described as curving through old pines, emphasizing the passage of time and life.
without any travelers, and lonely for no one.	The road is empty and peaceful, like the father’s death—isolated but without sadness or longing.

Literary And Poetic Devices: “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

Device	Example	Explanation
Alliteration	“seasoned with slivers of ginger”	The repetition of the consonant sound “s” creates a smooth, rhythmic flow, enhancing the sensory imagery of the poem.
Anaphora	“We shall eat it with rice for lunch, / brothers, sister, my mother…”	The repetition of “We shall” at the beginning of the lines emphasizes the collective nature of the family’s meal and experience.
Antithesis	“winding through pines older than him, / without any travelers”	The contrast between the old pines and the empty road suggests life and death, highlighting the speaker’s reflection on loss.
Assonance	“taste the sweetest meat”	The repetition of the long “e” sound creates a sense of harmony, drawing attention to the metaphorical sweetness of the moment.
Apostrophe	“Then he lay down to sleep like a snow-covered road”	The speaker addresses the act of death indirectly, evoking a peaceful slumber through a metaphorical comparison.
Caesura	“Then he lay down / to sleep like a snow-covered road”	The pause created between “lay down” and “to sleep” heightens the emotional weight of the father’s death.
Chiasmus	“the sweetest meat of the head, / holding it between her fingers”	The reversal of actions—first the mother tasting the meat, then holding it with her fingers—emphasizes the physical and emotional connection to the ritual.
Consonance	“winding through pines older than him”	The repetition of the “n” and “s” sounds creates a flowing, natural rhythm that mirrors the winding road and the passage of time.
Enjambment	“Then he lay down / to sleep like a snow-covered road / winding through pines older than him”	The sentence runs over several lines, creating a sense of continuous reflection and an unbroken connection between the father’s death and nature.
Hyperbole	“the sweetest meat of the head”	The description of the fish’s meat as the “sweetest” is an exaggerated way of expressing the cherished, special nature of this part of the meal.
Imagery	“snow-covered road / winding through pines older than him”	The image of a snow-covered road winding through ancient pines evokes a peaceful, serene scene that symbolizes death and memory.
Irony	“without any travelers, and lonely for no one”	The absence of travelers and the loneliness of the road are ironic because they suggest solitude, yet the road is described as “lonely for no one,” implying a sense of quiet acceptance.
Metaphor	“Then he lay down to sleep like a snow-covered road”	The comparison between the father’s death and a snow-covered road suggests a peaceful, quiet end, emphasizing the stillness of death.
Meter	“two sprigs of green onion, and sesame oil”	The regular rhythm of the line creates a smooth, almost calming effect, aligning with the peaceful imagery in the poem.
Onomatopoeia	“taste the sweetest meat”	The word “taste” evokes a sensory experience, suggesting a literal and figurative enjoyment of a shared family moment.
Oxymoron	“snow-covered road / winding through pines older than him”	The “snow-covered road” contrasts with the image of the living, dynamic pines, emphasizing the stillness of death versus the movement of life.
Personification	“the way my father did”	The speaker gives human characteristics to the memory of his father, implying that the father’s actions are still alive in the family’s traditions.
Rhetorical Question	“Who will taste the sweetest meat of the head?”	The question is not meant to be answered but to reflect the significance of the family meal and the passing of traditions.
Simile	“to sleep like a snow-covered road”	The comparison between the father’s death and a snow-covered road highlights the peaceful, quiet nature of his passing.
Synecdoche	“the sweetest meat of the head”	The “meat of the head” refers to the entire fish head, symbolizing the preciousness of family bonds and traditions.

Themes: “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

• Family and Connection: In “Eating Together,” one of the most prominent themes is the sense of family and the bonds formed through shared rituals. The poem describes a meal where family members, including the speaker’s mother, siblings, and the memory of the father, come together to enjoy food. The family’s communal act of eating reflects both unity and love, particularly in the description of the mother’s role in the meal. The line “We shall eat it with rice for lunch, / brothers, sister, my mother who will / taste the sweetest meat of the head” shows the mother’s participation in this familial tradition, where she tastes the “sweetest meat” with care and respect, passing on the ritual that her husband once did. This shared moment emphasizes the connection between generations, both living and deceased, as the mother continues the practices that were once carried out by the father. The family’s togetherness in the act of eating brings them closer despite the father’s absence.
• Loss and Grief: Another central theme in “Eating Together” is loss and the emotional impact of the father’s death. The speaker’s reflection on the father’s passing is woven throughout the poem, especially in the juxtaposition of the family meal with memories of the father. The description of the father lying down to sleep “like a snow-covered road” creates a poignant metaphor for death. The snow-covered road, “winding through pines older than him,” is an image of quiet solitude, suggesting a peaceful, inevitable passing, free from the noise of life. The line “without any travelers, and lonely for no one” further emphasizes the father’s death as an isolated and tranquil journey, where the father is not lonely in his passing, but the emptiness left behind is palpable. The family’s meal is thus overshadowed by this profound sense of absence, highlighting the emotional weight of loss.
• Memory and Tradition: The theme of memory and the passing down of tradition is deeply embedded in “Eating Together.” The family meal serves as a vessel for remembering the father and honoring his role within the family. The speaker recalls how the mother will taste the “sweetest meat of the head” in the same way that the father once did. This act of remembering is not just about the father’s past actions but also about the continuity of tradition through generations. The careful preparation and consumption of food, specifically the head of the fish, symbolize the reverence for family traditions that transcend death. The poem’s structure, focusing on a single, seemingly simple meal, acts as a metaphor for how memories and customs are passed down, keeping the presence of the deceased alive through these shared experiences.
• Life, Death, and Continuity: The poem “Eating Together” also delves into the themes of life, death, and the continuity of existence. The father’s death is not portrayed as an end but rather as a quiet, peaceful transition, akin to the stillness of a snow-covered road. While the father’s physical presence has gone, the rituals, such as the meal shared by the family, continue. The line “winding through pines older than him” suggests the idea of time passing, where even though the father is gone, the natural world and life persist. The continuity of life, as shown in the family’s ongoing practice of eating together, symbolizes the resilience of memory, love, and tradition. Despite the sorrow that comes with the loss, there is a sense of peace in knowing that life, in some form, goes on, and that the legacy of the father remains through the actions of the family. This cycle of life and death is reflected in the delicate balance between mourning and remembering.

Literary Theories and “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

Literary Theory	Explanation	References from the Poem
New Historicism	New Historicism focuses on understanding the text within the historical and cultural context in which it was written, exploring how history shapes the narrative. In “Eating Together,” the speaker reflects on family traditions, rituals, and loss, which are often shaped by cultural and historical values surrounding family and death. The reference to “weeks ago” and the father’s death is a historical reflection on family continuity.	“Then he lay down / to sleep like a snow-covered road” – This reflects a historical, personal memory of the father’s death, placed within the larger cultural context of life and death rituals.
Post-Colonial Theory	Post-colonial theory examines the impacts of colonialism on identity, culture, and memory. Though the poem does not explicitly focus on colonial themes, it can be interpreted through the lens of family identity and how traditions are preserved across generations in a world shaped by historical forces. The reverence for tradition in the family meal and the passing of rituals can be viewed as a means of maintaining cultural identity despite the external changes that might affect them.	“taste the sweetest meat of the head, / holding it between her fingers” – The passing of tradition, like food rituals, can be seen as a method of resisting the erasure of cultural practices.
Psychoanalytic Theory	Psychoanalytic theory, influenced by Freudian ideas, analyzes the unconscious desires, memories, and emotions that influence the characters and their actions. In this poem, the speaker’s memory of his father’s actions at the family meal reveals subconscious attachments and grief. The poem explores the tension between remembering and moving on, as well as the unresolved emotions tied to the father’s death.	“Then he lay down / to sleep like a snow-covered road” – The speaker’s description of the father’s death reflects both a literal and figurative journey, perhaps symbolizing unresolved grief and the psychological process of letting go.
Feminist Theory	Feminist theory looks at gender roles, the representation of women, and how women interact with societal structures. In “Eating Together,” the role of the mother as the caretaker, who continues the family tradition of preparing and eating the meal, highlights her central position in maintaining family rituals. The poem subtly emphasizes the importance of women in the emotional and cultural continuity of the family.	“my mother who will / taste the sweetest meat of the head” – The mother’s role in preserving family traditions through food preparation and consumption speaks to gendered expectations of caregiving and cultural continuity.

Critical Questions about “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

• How does the act of eating together symbolize familial bonds and continuity in “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee?
• In “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee, the act of sharing a meal becomes a powerful symbol of familial connection and the continuity of tradition. The poem’s description of a family gathering for a meal, where the mother tastes “the sweetest meat of the head” as the family eats trout, underscores the importance of rituals in preserving familial bonds. The speaker highlights the intimate role of the mother in maintaining this tradition, with the line “my mother who will / taste the sweetest meat of the head” showing how she plays a central role in passing down familial practices, even in the absence of the father. The continuity of the ritual, despite the father’s death, signifies that the family remains united through these shared moments. The meal, a seemingly simple act, becomes a way for the family to remember and honor the deceased father, creating an emotional connection between past and present generations. Through this act, the family preserves both love and memory, reaffirming the strength of their bonds despite the inevitable passage of time.
• What role does the father’s death play in the poem, and how is it represented in “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee?
• The father’s death plays a central, though understated, role in “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee, shaping the emotional undertone of the poem. The father’s absence is felt deeply, particularly in the speaker’s reflection on how the mother continues the family tradition of eating, something the father had once done. The line “Then he lay down / to sleep like a snow-covered road” metaphorically represents the father’s death as a peaceful, inevitable process. The snow-covered road symbolizes quiet solitude and finality, suggesting the stillness of death and the tranquil passage from life. The reference to the pines being “older than him” reinforces the idea of death as a natural part of the cycle of life, in which even the longest-living entities must eventually fade. The father’s death is not mourned overtly but is instead reflected in the continuity of family rituals, as the speaker and mother carry on the tradition of the shared meal. This reflects the poem’s subtle treatment of grief, where death is acknowledged through memory rather than explicit sorrow.
• How does the poem convey the theme of memory, and what is its emotional impact in “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee?
• Memory is a prominent theme in “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee, particularly in the way the speaker reflects on the past and the family’s connection to the deceased father. The poem’s focus on the meal shared by the family serves as both a literal and metaphorical means of remembering the father. The line “holding it between her fingers / deftly, the way my father did” links the present moment with a memory of the father’s actions, preserving his presence in the family’s tradition even after his death. This memory is emotional because it connects the speaker’s personal history with the ongoing ritual of eating, allowing the past to remain alive through the actions of the living. The poem’s gentle depiction of memory highlights the bittersweet nature of loss—while the father is gone, his memory persists through the continuation of family traditions. The emotional impact is profound because it emphasizes how individuals and their actions are immortalized through the memories and rituals that outlive them.
• What is the significance of the poem’s use of nature imagery, particularly the snow-covered road and pines, in “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee?
• The use of nature imagery in “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee serves to deepen the poem’s exploration of life, death, and memory. The metaphor of the father’s death, “like a snow-covered road / winding through pines older than him,” evokes a sense of peaceful inevitability. The snow-covered road suggests the father’s quiet passage into death, with the image of a winding road through ancient pines conveying the idea of life’s journey, the passage of time, and the persistence of nature even after death. The pines, older than the father, symbolize the continuity of life beyond an individual’s existence, suggesting that while people pass away, nature remains enduring. This image of the road as “lonely for no one” further emphasizes the quiet solitude of death, where there are no travelers, and no one is left to mourn the end. Nature in the poem is not just a backdrop; it is intricately tied to the themes of life and death, helping to frame the father’s passing as a natural, peaceful process that, like nature itself, endures beyond the individual. The use of these natural elements underscores the cyclical nature of life, death, and memory.

Literary Works Similar to “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

1. “The Fish” by Elizabeth Bishop
   Both poems reflect on the connection between the living and the natural world, exploring themes of memory, observation, and the significance of small, intimate moments.
2. “A Blessing” by James Wright
   Like “Eating Together,” this poem explores a quiet, shared moment that evokes deep reflection on human connection and the passage of time.
3. “One Art” by Elizabeth Bishop
   Similar to Li-Young Lee’s poem, “One Art” deals with loss and memory, subtly showing how life’s rituals and routines continue even after profound personal changes.
4. “Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas
   While Thomas’s poem focuses on defiance in the face of death, it shares with “Eating Together” the exploration of death and its impact on those left behind, framed by poignant reflections.
5. “The Death of the Hired Man” by Robert Frost
   Both poems explore themes of loss, memory, and human connection, with moments of reflection on those who are no longer present but whose legacy persists through actions and rituals.

Representative Quotations of “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

Quotation	Context	Theoretical Perspective
“In the steamer is the trout”	This line introduces the meal being prepared, establishing the setting for the family ritual.	New Historicism: The preparation of a family meal can be interpreted as a cultural practice rooted in the historical context of family traditions and rituals.
“seasoned with slivers of ginger, / two sprigs of green onion, and sesame oil”	The detailed description of the trout’s seasoning enhances the sensory experience of the poem, emphasizing the importance of food in the family tradition.	Cultural Criticism: The sensory details of food symbolize cultural and familial values, suggesting the preservation of tradition through the sensory experience of cooking and eating.
“We shall eat it with rice for lunch”	The reference to a simple, everyday meal implies the comfort of family routine.	Structuralism: The meal as a repetitive structure represents the stability of family life and shared experiences.
“brothers, sister, my mother who will / taste the sweetest meat of the head”	The mother’s role in the family meal, where she is given the most revered part of the fish, symbolizes her central position in family traditions.	Feminist Theory: The mother’s involvement in the act of feeding and nurturing highlights her vital role in maintaining family traditions and upholding gendered caregiving expectations.
“holding it between her fingers / deftly, the way my father did”	The mother’s delicate handling of the fish’s head connects her to the deceased father, who is remembered through her actions.	Psychoanalytic Theory: This reference to the father’s past actions demonstrates how unconscious memories and grief affect the present, preserving the father’s influence in the family.
“Then he lay down / to sleep like a snow-covered road”	The father’s death is described with a metaphor comparing it to a quiet, peaceful journey, evoking stillness and finality.	Death and Identity Theory: The metaphor emphasizes the tranquility of death and the natural passage of life, highlighting the inevitability of mortality.
“winding through pines older than him”	The road described here suggests the passage of time and the natural cycle of life, where the father’s death is framed within a larger, timeless context.	Ecocriticism: The reference to nature reflects the enduring cycle of life and death, positioning human existence within the broader framework of nature’s continuity.
“without any travelers, and lonely for no one”	This line portrays death as a solitary, inevitable journey, evoking feelings of solitude.	Existentialism: The emptiness and solitude in this line reflect existential themes of individual experience and the solitude inherent in death.
“taste the sweetest meat of the head”	The “sweetest meat” symbolizes both the value of tradition and the respect given to the father’s memory through the family meal.	Post-Colonial Theory: The act of continuing tradition despite loss can be seen as an act of resistance against the erasure of cultural identity, preserving memory and meaning through rituals.
“the way my father did / weeks ago”	This line directly links the mother’s actions to the deceased father, showing the continuation of family practices after death.	Memory and Trauma Theory: The connection between the mother’s actions and the father’s past behaviors reflects how trauma and memory influence the present, keeping the father’s memory alive through everyday rituals.

Suggested Readings: “Eating Together” by Li-Young Lee

1. LEE, JAMES KYUNG-JIN, and Li-Young Lee. “Li-Young Lee.” Words Matter: Conversations with Asian American Writers, edited by King-Kok Cheung, University of Hawai’i Press, 2000, pp. 270–80. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt6wqrqj.18. Accessed 8 Mar. 2025.
2. Xu, Wenying. “Diaspora, Transcendentalism, and Ethnic Gastronomy in the Works of Li-Young Lee.” Eating Identities: Reading Food in Asian American Literature, University of Hawai’i Press, 2008, pp. 94–126. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt6wqwpv.8. Accessed 8 Mar. 2025.
3. Xiaojing, Zhou. “Li-Young Lee (1957-).” Asian American Autobiographers: A Bio-Bibliographical Critical Sourcebook (2001): 193.