Introduction: “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
“Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings, first appeared in her 1972 collection Growing-Points, explores the emotional disconnect between a father and his son, despite living under the same roof for years. The father laments his inability to understand his child, reflecting on whether his parenting has failed (“Yet have I killed / The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?”). This poignant expression of generational estrangement and the struggle for reconciliation makes it a popular choice as a textbook poem. Its universal theme of parental alienation and longing for connection resonates with readers, particularly in academic settings, where it is studied for its simple yet deeply evocative language, emotional depth, and relatable family dynamics. The father’s desire for his son’s return, akin to the biblical parable of the prodigal son, and the concluding lines emphasizing mutual longing and the hope for forgiveness (“We each put out an empty hand, / Longing for something to forgive.”) contribute to its lasting impact and inclusion in literature syllabi.
Text: “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
I do not understand this child
Though we have lived together now
In the same house for years. I know
Nothing of him, so try to build
Up a relationship from how
He was when small. Yet have I killed
The seed I spent or sown it where
The land is his and none of mine?
We speak like strangers, there’s no sign
Of understanding in the air.
This child is built to my design
Yet what he loves I cannot share.
Silence surrounds us. I would have
Him prodigal, returning to
His father’s house, the home he knew,
Rather than see him make and move
His world. I would forgive him too,
Shaping from sorrow a new love.
Father and son, we both must live
On the same globe and the same land.
He speaks: I cannot understand
Myself, why anger grows from grief.
We each put out an empty hand,
Longing for something to forgive.
Annotations: “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
| Stanza | Explanation (Simple English) | Themes | Tone | Poetic & Literary Devices | Examples from the Poem |
| 1st Stanza | The father does not understand his son, despite living together for years. He recalls his son’s childhood, hoping to rebuild their bond. | Emotional disconnect, nostalgia, regret | Confused, sorrowful | Enjambment – Extends thought across lines | “Though we have lived together now / In the same house for years.” |
| Contrast – Difference between past and present | “I do not understand this child” (past vs. present) | ||||
| 2nd Stanza | The father wonders if he is responsible for their distant relationship. He questions whether his son belongs to a different world. | Self-doubt, failed communication, generational gap | Reflective, regretful | Metaphor – Parenting compared to sowing seeds | “The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?” |
| Symbolism – The land represents independence | “The land is his and none of mine.” | ||||
| Alliteration – Repetition of sounds for effect | “Sown it where” | ||||
| 3rd Stanza | They speak like strangers, unable to connect. Though the son is the father’s creation, he cannot relate to his interests. | Alienation, lack of understanding, generational conflict | Helpless, melancholic | Contrast – Between expectations and reality | “This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share.” |
| Symbolism – Lack of connection | “No sign of understanding in the air.” | ||||
| 4th Stanza | The father wishes his son would return to him like the Prodigal Son from the Bible. He wants to forgive him instead of seeing him separate from the family. | Longing for reconciliation, unconditional love, biblical allusion | Hopeful, forgiving | Biblical Allusion – Reference to The Parable of the Prodigal Son | “Him prodigal, returning to / His father’s house.” |
| Imagery – Evokes a sense of familiarity | “The home he knew.” | ||||
| 5th Stanza | The father believes they must learn to live together despite their differences. The son finally speaks, revealing his inner conflict. He does not understand his own emotions, feeling grief and anger. Both long for reconciliation. | Communication, inner conflict, emotional struggle | Emotional, despairing | Paradox – Contradictory emotions | “Anger grows from grief.” |
| Symbolism – Representing desire for reconciliation | “We each put out an empty hand.” |
Literary and Poetic Devices in the Poem
| Poetic Device | Effect in the Poem | Example from the Poem |
| Enjambment | Creates a natural flow of thoughts and emotions | “Though we have lived together now / In the same house for years.” |
| Contrast | Highlights the gap between father and son | “This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share.” |
| Metaphor | Compares the father’s role to sowing a seed (raising a child) | “The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?” |
| Symbolism | Represents emotional distance | “Silence surrounds us.” |
| Alliteration | Adds rhythm and emphasis | “Sown it where.” |
| Biblical Allusion | Connects to The Parable of the Prodigal Son, reinforcing forgiveness | “Him prodigal, returning to / His father’s house.” |
| Imagery | Creates a sense of nostalgia and lost connection | “The home he knew.” |
| Paradox | Shows the complexity of emotions in strained relationships | “Anger grows from grief.” |
Themes: “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
1. Emotional Distance and Lack of Communication: One of the central themes of “Father to Son” is the emotional distance between the father and his son despite living in the same house for years. The father expresses his frustration and sorrow over the widening gap, stating, “I do not understand this child / Though we have lived together now / In the same house for years.” This line highlights his inability to connect with his son despite their physical closeness. The phrase “We speak like strangers, there’s no sign / Of understanding in the air.” further emphasizes their emotional separation, showing that even when they attempt to communicate, there is no mutual comprehension. The silence that surrounds them symbolizes the breakdown of their relationship, as neither of them is able to express their emotions effectively. The poem powerfully illustrates how a lack of communication leads to isolation, even within familial bonds.
2. Generational Gap and Changing Identity: The poem also explores the generational gap between the father and son, which contributes to their inability to relate to each other. The father recognizes that while his son was once a child he understood, he has now grown into someone he no longer recognizes. He wonders whether he has failed in his role as a parent, asking, “Yet have I killed / The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?” This metaphor suggests that the son has developed a separate identity that the father does not share or comprehend. The father admits that “This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share.” This line reflects the natural divergence between parents and children, as younger generations form their own beliefs, preferences, and lifestyles that may differ from those of their parents. The father struggles with the fact that his son has moved beyond his influence, symbolizing the inevitable changes in relationships due to generational differences.
3. Longing for Reconciliation and Unconditional Love: Despite the emotional distance, the poem conveys a deep longing for reconciliation and an underlying sense of unconditional love. The father desires for his son to return to him emotionally, much like the biblical Prodigal Son, as he expresses, “I would have / Him prodigal, returning to / His father’s house, the home he knew.” This reference to the Parable of the Prodigal Son signifies the father’s willingness to forgive and welcome his son back with open arms, regardless of their past misunderstandings. He hopes that their fractured bond can be repaired and that sorrow can be transformed into love: “I would forgive him too, / Shaping from sorrow a new love.” This highlights the father’s desperate wish for reconciliation and emphasizes the idea that parental love persists despite differences and conflicts. However, the lack of direct communication between them prevents this reconciliation from happening immediately.
4. Inner Conflict and the Struggle to Express Emotions: The poem also highlights the inner conflict within both the father and son, showing their difficulty in expressing their emotions. The father struggles with his regret, confusion, and longing for connection, while the son, when he finally speaks, reveals his own internal turmoil. The son admits his inability to understand himself, stating, “I cannot understand / Myself, why anger grows from grief.” This paradox suggests that his frustration and emotional pain are deeply linked, possibly due to the pressure of parental expectations or the weight of their unresolved conflict. The final lines, “We each put out an empty hand, / Longing for something to forgive,” symbolize their mutual desire for connection, yet their inability to bridge the gap. This reinforces the idea that both father and son suffer from emotional distress, yet neither knows how to heal their strained relationship.
Literary Theories and “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
| Literary Theory | Application to “Father to Son” | References from the Poem |
| Psychoanalytic Theory (Freudian Analysis) | Explores the emotional struggles between father and son, focusing on their subconscious conflicts, repressed emotions, and unexpressed feelings. The father experiences guilt and regret, while the son struggles with identity and suppressed anger. | “We speak like strangers, there’s no sign / Of understanding in the air.” → Shows emotional detachment and subconscious barriers. “I cannot understand / Myself, why anger grows from grief.” → Reflects the son’s inner turmoil and repressed emotions. |
| Reader-Response Theory | The meaning of the poem depends on the reader’s personal experiences and emotions related to family relationships. Different readers may empathize with either the father or the son, interpreting the poem based on their own parental or childhood experiences. | “Yet have I killed / The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?” → Some readers may interpret this as parental regret, while others may see it as a child’s quest for independence. |
| Feminist/Gender Theory | The poem presents a traditional patriarchal perspective of fatherhood, emphasizing male roles in parenting, authority, and emotional suppression. It highlights the expectations placed on men to control or understand their children, yet the father struggles with emotional expression. | “This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share.” → Implies traditional expectations of father-son relationships, where masculinity is defined by lineage and control. “I would forgive him too, / Shaping from sorrow a new love.” → Shows how fatherhood is connected to forgiveness and responsibility. |
| Structuralism | The poem follows a structured pattern of contrast, comparing the past and present, father’s desires vs. son’s reality, and closeness vs. distance. The use of repetition, contrasts, and symbols reveals deeper meanings. | “Silence surrounds us.” → Represents the lack of communication as a structured motif throughout the poem. “We each put out an empty hand, / Longing for something to forgive.” → Oppositional structures of longing vs. emptiness, desire vs. inaction. |
| Existentialist Theory | Highlights the existential crisis of both father and son as they struggle to understand their roles, purpose, and connection in life. The father is trapped in self-doubt, while the son feels disoriented in his own identity. | “The land is his and none of mine?” → Implies alienation and existential detachment. “We both must live / On the same globe and the same land.” → Suggests existential realization that despite differences, they share the same world but fail to connect. |
Critical Questions about “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
1. How does the poem explore the theme of miscommunication between generations?
“Father to Son” powerfully highlights miscommunication and emotional distance between a father and his son. Despite living in the same house for years, the father admits, “I do not understand this child / Though we have lived together now / In the same house for years.” This line sets the tone for the poem, showing that even physical closeness does not guarantee emotional understanding. The father’s struggle to communicate is reinforced when he states, “We speak like strangers, there’s no sign / Of understanding in the air.” The use of silence as a symbol in “Silence surrounds us.” further underscores the emotional void between them. Their inability to communicate reflects a larger generational gap, where the father’s expectations and the son’s reality clash. Ultimately, the poem suggests that their failure to express emotions leads to deep loneliness and regret, making miscommunication a central theme.
2. How does Elizabeth Jennings use literary devices to enhance the poem’s emotional impact?
Jennings employs symbolism, contrast, and biblical allusions to enhance the emotional depth of “Father to Son.” One of the strongest metaphors in the poem is the father’s comparison of his son to a lost seed: “Yet have I killed / The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?” This symbolizes failed parenting—either the father has stifled his son’s growth or has raised him in an environment where he no longer belongs. The contrast between past and present is another key device, as seen in “This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share.” The father created the son, but he cannot relate to his identity as he grows up. The biblical allusion to the Prodigal Son (“I would have / Him prodigal, returning to / His father’s house, the home he knew.”) highlights the father’s longing for reconciliation. These devices work together to emphasize the depth of the father’s sorrow and desire for understanding.
3. How does the poem portray the father’s internal conflict and self-doubt?
The father’s internal conflict is evident in his self-doubt, regret, and confusion about his parenting. He questions himself early in the poem, wondering if he is responsible for their estranged relationship: “Yet have I killed / The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?” This line reveals his uncertainty—he does not know if his strict upbringing suffocated his son or if his son naturally drifted away. The contrast between love and alienation is further highlighted in “This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share.” The father acknowledges that his son reflects his creation, yet remains emotionally distant. His longing for reconciliation is evident in “I would forgive him too, / Shaping from sorrow a new love.” This suggests that the father is willing to take responsibility for their broken bond, but his self-doubt prevents him from acting on it.
4. What does the poem suggest about the son’s emotions and struggles?
Although the poem is mostly from the father’s perspective, the son finally speaks in the last stanza, revealing his own emotional struggles and inner turmoil. He admits, “I cannot understand / Myself, why anger grows from grief.” This paradox highlights the depth of his frustration—his anger may stem from feeling misunderstood, unloved, or disconnected from his father. The father perceives him as a stranger, but the son himself is lost in his own emotions. The final lines, “We each put out an empty hand, / Longing for something to forgive,” reveal that both father and son desire reconciliation but struggle to reach out. The son’s internal battle with identity, expectations, and communication mirrors the father’s struggle, emphasizing that both characters suffer from emotional isolation.
Literary Works Similar to “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
- “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden – This poem explores a father-son relationship marked by unspoken love, regret, and emotional distance, similar to the strained bond in “Father to Son.”
- “Mother to Son” by Langston Hughes – While written from a mother’s perspective, this poem shares the theme of parental concern and perseverance, much like the father’s yearning for connection in Jennings’ poem.
- “Eden Rock” by Charles Causley – This poem captures family separation, nostalgia, and longing for reunion, resonating with the father’s wish for his son to return emotionally.
- “A Story” by Li-Young Lee – Like “Father to Son,” this poem reflects on parental fears, generational gaps, and the pain of growing emotional distance between a father and child.
- “This Be the Verse” by Philip Larkin – This poem, though more cynical, examines the lasting impact of parental influence and generational conflict, paralleling the father’s struggle in Jennings’ poem.
Representative Quotations of “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
| Quotation | Context in the Poem | Theoretical Perspective |
| “I do not understand this child / Though we have lived together now / In the same house for years.” | The father expresses his emotional detachment from his son, despite their physical closeness. | Psychoanalytic Theory – Highlights the subconscious emotional barriers between father and son. Reader-Response Theory – Readers may relate to the theme of miscommunication in family relationships. |
| “Yet have I killed / The seed I spent or sown it where / The land is his and none of mine?” | The father wonders whether he is responsible for the emotional gap or if his son has naturally distanced himself. | Structuralism – Uses metaphor to contrast the father’s perception of parenting as cultivation. Psychoanalytic Theory – The father’s guilt and uncertainty reflect deep-seated fears of failure. |
| “We speak like strangers, there’s no sign / Of understanding in the air.” | The father and son communicate like strangers, emphasizing their emotional disconnection. | Existentialist Theory – Highlights alienation and the struggle to form meaningful human connections. Structuralism – Contrasts speech (communication) with silence (emotional distance). |
| “This child is built to my design / Yet what he loves I cannot share.” | The father acknowledges that while he shaped his son, he does not relate to his interests or choices. | Feminist/Gender Theory – Examines how fathers traditionally impose expectations on their sons. Structuralism – The contrast between “design” and “love” highlights the father’s failure to connect emotionally. |
| “Silence surrounds us.” | A powerful image of the lack of communication and emotional void in their relationship. | Psychoanalytic Theory – Silence represents repressed emotions and unspoken tensions. Existentialist Theory – Symbolizes the human struggle to express feelings. |
| “I would have / Him prodigal, returning to / His father’s house, the home he knew.” | The father hopes his son will return to him emotionally, much like the biblical Prodigal Son. | Biblical/Religious Perspective – Alludes to the Parable of the Prodigal Son, emphasizing forgiveness. Psychoanalytic Theory – Reflects the father’s unconscious need for emotional redemption. |
| “I would forgive him too, / Shaping from sorrow a new love.” | The father expresses his willingness to forgive and rebuild their relationship. | Reader-Response Theory – Readers may see this as a hopeful resolution or as wishful thinking. Humanist Theory – Suggests that love and understanding can overcome conflict. |
| “Father and son, we both must live / On the same globe and the same land.” | Despite their differences, they are bound by existence and family ties. | Existentialist Theory – Emphasizes shared existence yet emotional separation. Structuralism – Uses parallelism (“same globe, same land”) to reinforce closeness yet distance. |
| “He speaks: I cannot understand / Myself, why anger grows from grief.” | The son finally speaks, revealing his own confusion and inner turmoil. | Psychoanalytic Theory – Anger as a manifestation of unresolved grief and emotional suppression. Existentialist Theory – Reflects the search for self-understanding and identity. |
| “We each put out an empty hand, / Longing for something to forgive.” | Both father and son desire reconciliation but struggle to take action. | Humanist Theory – Highlights the universal need for forgiveness and understanding. Reader-Response Theory – Readers may interpret this as tragic hesitation or a hopeful attempt to reconcile. |
Suggested Readings: “Father to Son” by Elizabeth Jennings
- Jennings, Elizabeth. Selected poems. Carcanet, 2012.
- Sloan, Barry. “Poetry and Faith: The Example of Elizabeth Jennings.” Christianity and Literature, vol. 55, no. 3, 2006, pp. 393–414. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/44313513. Accessed 5 Mar. 2025.
- Ward, Jean. “ELIZABETH JENNINGS: AN EXILE IN HER OWN COUNTRY?” Literature and Theology, vol. 21, no. 2, 2007, pp. 198–213. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/23926939. Accessed 5 Mar. 2025.
- HEWITT, JOHN H. “The Search for Elizabeth Jennings, Heroine of a Sunday Afternoon in New York City.” New York History, vol. 71, no. 4, 1990, pp. 386–415. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/23175309. Accessed 5 Mar. 2025.
- Gardner, Timothy. “Learning the Lesson of Love: The Poetry of Elizabeth Jennings (1926-2001).” New Blackfriars, vol. 83, no. 979, 2002, pp. 401–07. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/43250193. Accessed 5 Mar. 2025.