Introduction: “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
“Home Burial” by Robert Frost, first published in 1914 in his collection North of Boston, is a dramatic dialogue between a bereaved couple struggling to cope with the loss of their child. Frost masterfully captures the raw emotions and unspoken tensions in their relationship, highlighting the vast gulf that grief has created between them. The poem’s stark realism, use of vernacular language, and focus on the nuances of human interaction are hallmarks of Frost’s poetic style, making “Home Burial” a poignant exploration of loss, communication breakdown, and the complexities of human relationships.
Text: “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
He saw her from the bottom of the stairs
Before she saw him. She was starting down,
Looking back over her shoulder at some fear.
She took a doubtful step and then undid it
To raise herself and look again. He spoke
Advancing toward her: ‘What is it you see
From up there always—for I want to know.’
She turned and sank upon her skirts at that,
And her face changed from terrified to dull.
He said to gain time: ‘What is it you see,’
Mounting until she cowered under him.
‘I will find out now—you must tell me, dear.’
She, in her place, refused him any help
With the least stiffening of her neck and silence.
She let him look, sure that he wouldn’t see,
Blind creature; and awhile he didn’t see.
But at last he murmured, ‘Oh,’ and again, ‘Oh.’
‘What is it—what?’ she said.
‘Just that I see.’
‘You don’t,’ she challenged. ‘Tell me what it is.’
‘The wonder is I didn’t see at once.
I never noticed it from here before.
I must be wonted to it—that’s the reason.
The little graveyard where my people are!
So small the window frames the whole of it.
Not so much larger than a bedroom, is it?
There are three stones of slate and one of marble,
Broad-shouldered little slabs there in the sunlight
On the sidehill. We haven’t to mind those.
But I understand: it is not the stones,
But the child’s mound—’
‘Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t,’ she cried.
She withdrew shrinking from beneath his arm
That rested on the banister, and slid downstairs;
And turned on him with such a daunting look,
He said twice over before he knew himself:
‘Can’t a man speak of his own child he’s lost?’
‘Not you! Oh, where’s my hat? Oh, I don’t need it!
I must get out of here. I must get air.
I don’t know rightly whether any man can.’
‘Amy! Don’t go to someone else this time.
Listen to me. I won’t come down the stairs.’
He sat and fixed his chin between his fists.
‘There’s something I should like to ask you, dear.’
‘You don’t know how to ask it.’
‘Help me, then.’
Her fingers moved the latch for all reply.
‘My words are nearly always an offense.
I don’t know how to speak of anything
So as to please you. But I might be taught
I should suppose. I can’t say I see how.
A man must partly give up being a man
With women-folk. We could have some arrangement
By which I’d bind myself to keep hands off
Anything special you’re a-mind to name.
Though I don’t like such things ’twixt those that love.
Two that don’t love can’t live together without them.
But two that do can’t live together with them.’
She moved the latch a little. ‘Don’t—don’t go.
Don’t carry it to someone else this time.
Tell me about it if it’s something human.
Let me into your grief. I’m not so much
Unlike other folks as your standing there
Apart would make me out. Give me my chance.
I do think, though, you overdo it a little.
What was it brought you up to think it the thing
To take your mother-loss of a first child
So inconsolably—in the face of love.
You’d think his memory might be satisfied—’
‘There you go sneering now!’
‘I’m not, I’m not!
You make me angry. I’ll come down to you.
God, what a woman! And it’s come to this,
A man can’t speak of his own child that’s dead.’
‘You can’t because you don’t know how to speak.
If you had any feelings, you that dug
With your own hand—how could you?—his little grave;
I saw you from that very window there,
Making the gravel leap and leap in air,
Leap up, like that, like that, and land so lightly
And roll back down the mound beside the hole.
I thought, Who is that man? I didn’t know you.
And I crept down the stairs and up the stairs
To look again, and still your spade kept lifting.
Then you came in. I heard your rumbling voice
Out in the kitchen, and I don’t know why,
But I went near to see with my own eyes.
You could sit there with the stains on your shoes
Of the fresh earth from your own baby’s grave
And talk about your everyday concerns.
You had stood the spade up against the wall
Outside there in the entry, for I saw it.’
‘I shall laugh the worst laugh I ever laughed.
I’m cursed. God, if I don’t believe I’m cursed.’
‘I can repeat the very words you were saying:
“Three foggy mornings and one rainy day
Will rot the best birch fence a man can build.”
Think of it, talk like that at such a time!
What had how long it takes a birch to rot
To do with what was in the darkened parlor?
You couldn’t care! The nearest friends can go
With anyone to death, comes so far short
They might as well not try to go at all.
No, from the time when one is sick to death,
One is alone, and he dies more alone.
Friends make pretense of following to the grave,
But before one is in it, their minds are turned
And making the best of their way back to life
And living people, and things they understand.
But the world’s evil. I won’t have grief so
If I can change it. Oh, I won’t, I won’t!’
‘There, you have said it all and you feel better.
You won’t go now. You’re crying. Close the door.
The heart’s gone out of it: why keep it up.
Amy! There’s someone coming down the road!’
‘You—oh, you think the talk is all. I must go—
Somewhere out of this house. How can I make you—’
‘If—you—do!’ She was opening the door wider.
‘Where do you mean to go? First tell me that.
I’ll follow and bring you back by force. I will!—’
Annotations: “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
| Stanza | Annotation |
| 1 | The poem begins with a tense encounter. The husband sees his wife at the top of the stairs, looking back in fear. She hesitates, retreats, and he approaches her, asking what she is always looking at. Her demeanor shifts from terror to dullness as he presses her for an answer. |
| 2 | The husband tries to understand what his wife is seeing from the window. She remains silent and refuses to help him understand, believing he won’t comprehend. He finally sees what she is looking at – the family graveyard. |
| 3 | The husband expresses surprise that he never noticed the graveyard from this perspective before. He describes the graveyard’s small size and its significance, pointing out the gravestones and then the child’s grave. His wife reacts strongly to his mention of the child’s grave. |
| 4 | The wife recoils from his touch, moves downstairs, and angrily questions his right to speak about their dead child. He responds with frustration, questioning whether any man could talk about such a loss. |
| 5 | The wife prepares to leave the house, overwhelmed. The husband pleads with her to stay and talk to him instead of leaving. He acknowledges his difficulty in communicating and asks for her help in understanding her grief. |
| 6 | The husband admits his words often offend her and offers to make an arrangement to avoid such conflicts. He expresses a desire for genuine communication and connection despite his limitations. The wife hesitates but moves the latch as if to leave. |
| 7 | The husband continues to plead for understanding and connection, urging her not to take her grief elsewhere. He tries to relate to her pain and asks for a chance to share in her sorrow. He criticizes her for being inconsolable despite his love and support. |
| 8 | The wife accuses him of sneering, which he denies. He grows frustrated and insists on his right to speak about their lost child. The argument intensifies, revealing deep-seated misunderstandings and emotions. |
| 9 | The wife recounts the day their child was buried, criticizing the husband’s behavior and detachment. She observed him digging the grave and felt alienated by his composure and practical concerns. She questions his ability to feel the depth of their loss. |
| 10 | The husband reacts with a mix of disbelief and bitter humor, feeling cursed. He recalls the mundane conversation he had during the burial, highlighting their different ways of coping with grief. |
| 11 | The wife condemns the husband’s detachment, arguing that even close friends cannot truly share in another’s death. She expresses her determination to resist such grief and her anger at the world’s indifference. |
| 12 | The husband tries to comfort her, suggesting that expressing her feelings has helped. He points out someone approaching the house, urging her to stay. The wife, however, feels the need to escape, unable to reconcile with his perspective. |
| 13 | The wife insists on leaving the house, feeling desperate. The husband demands to know where she plans to go, threatening to follow and forcibly bring her back. The poem ends with a sense of unresolved conflict and deep emotional rift. |
Literary And Poetic Devices: “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
| Device | Example | Explanation |
| Alliteration | Before she saw him. She was starting down | Repetition of the ‘s’ sound emphasizes the wife’s view of her husband’s insensitivity. |
| Allusion | “the little graveyard where my people are” | References to family graves, suggesting a legacy of loss and familial connection to death. |
| Anaphora | “Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t” | Repetition of “don’t” conveys the wife’s desperation and emotional intensity. |
| Assonance | “stairs” and “there” | Repetition of vowel sounds in close proximity, creating a musical quality. |
| Caesura | “‘What is it you see,’” | A pause within a line, creating a natural rhythm and emphasizing the husband’s demand for answers. |
| Dialogue | The conversation between the husband and wife | Direct speech between characters enhances realism and reveals emotional tension. |
| Dramatic Irony | The husband doesn’t understand the wife’s grief | The audience understands the depth of the wife’s grief more than the husband, creating a sense of irony. |
| Enjambment | “She withdrew shrinking from beneath his arm / That rested on the banister” | Continuation of a sentence without a pause beyond the end of a line, emphasizing the wife’s movement and emotional withdrawal. |
| Foreshadowing | “There’s someone coming down the road!” | Hints at an approaching confrontation or resolution, adding to the tension. |
| Hyperbole | “The worst laugh I ever laughed” | Exaggeration to emphasize the husband’s frustration and disbelief. |
| Imagery | “Broad-shouldered little slabs there in the sunlight” | Vivid description that helps readers visualize the graveyard, enhancing the emotional impact. |
| Irony | The husband’s practical talk about the fence | The husband’s focus on mundane topics contrasts sharply with the gravity of their child’s death, highlighting their emotional disconnect. |
| Metaphor | “Making the gravel leap and leap in air” | Comparing the gravel to something that leaps, emphasizing the husband’s mechanical, detached actions during the burial. |
| Mood | The overall feeling of grief and tension | The emotional atmosphere created through descriptions and dialogue, reflecting the couple’s profound sorrow and conflict. |
| Repetition | “Oh, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t” | Repeating words or phrases for emphasis, showing the wife’s intense emotional response. |
| Simile | “Leap up, like that, like that, and land so lightly” | Comparing the gravel’s movement to something light and repetitive, highlighting the mechanical nature of the husband’s actions. |
| Symbolism | The graveyard window | The window symbolizes the wife’s perspective on loss and grief, as well as the barrier between the couple’s emotional worlds. |
| Theme | Grief and communication | Central idea exploring how individuals cope with loss and the difficulties of expressing and understanding each other’s emotions. |
| Tone | The husband’s frustration and the wife’s despair | The attitude conveyed through the characters’ speech and actions, reflecting their emotional states and the underlying tension in their relationship. |
| Tragic Flaw | The husband’s inability to understand his wife’s grief | His lack of empathy and practical demeanor contribute to the tragic breakdown of their communication and relationship. |
Themes: “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
- Grief and Loss: The poem centrally explores the theme of grief and loss, particularly the different ways in which the husband and wife deal with the death of their child. The wife’s grief is raw, open, and all-consuming, while the husband’s grief is more internalized and expressed through his attempt to maintain normalcy. This is evident in lines like “Can’t a man speak of his own child he’s lost?” and “You couldn’t care! The nearest friends can go / With anyone to death, comes so far short.” The poem highlights the isolation and misunderstanding that can arise from different grieving processes.
- Communication and Misunderstanding: The couple’s inability to communicate their grief effectively is a major theme. Their dialogue is filled with accusations, misunderstandings, and a lack of empathy. The husband’s attempts to comfort his wife are clumsy and insensitive, as seen in “I must be wonted to it – that’s the reason.” The wife’s refusal to let him into her grief further widens the gap between them. The poem serves as a commentary on the breakdown of communication that can occur in the face of overwhelming sorrow.
- Gender Roles and Expectations: The poem subtly touches upon the societal expectations and gender roles of the early 20th century. The husband is expected to be stoic and reserved in his grief, while the wife is expected to be emotional and expressive. This is evident in the husband’s frustration when he asks, “Can’t a man speak of his own child he’s lost?” and the wife’s accusation that he doesn’t know how to speak because he is a man. The poem suggests that these rigid gender roles hinder open communication and emotional connection.
- Isolation and Loneliness: The poem explores the theme of isolation and loneliness that can accompany grief. Both the husband and wife feel alone in their sorrow, unable to bridge the gap between them. The wife’s insistence on leaving the house and the husband’s plea for her to stay highlight their desperate need for connection, even as they push each other away. The closing lines, “Where do you mean to go? First tell me that. / I’ll follow and bring you back by force. I will!-” underscore the desperation and isolation that permeate their relationship.
Literary Theories and “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
Theory 1: Freudian Psychoanalysis
- Reference: “She let him look, sure that he wouldn’t see, / Blind creature; and awhile he didn’t see.” (Lines 15-16)
- Analysis: The poem explores the theme of grief and the inability to confront it. The speaker’s wife is unable to share her grief with her husband, and he is unable to understand her perspective. This reflects the Freudian concept of the unconscious mind and the repression of emotions.
Theory 2: Gender Studies
- Reference: “A man must partly give up being a man / With women-folk.” (Lines 65-66)
- Analysis: The poem highlights the gender roles and expectations in a relationship. The husband’s inability to understand his wife’s grief and his insistence on speaking about their child’s death reflect traditional masculine roles. The wife’s emotional expression and need for comfort reflect traditional feminine roles.
Theory 3: Existentialism
- Reference: “No, from the time when one is sick to death, / One is alone, and he dies more alone.” (Lines 107-108)
- Analysis: The poem explores the theme of existential isolation and the individual’s experience of death and grief. The speaker’s wife feels alone in her grief, and the poem highlights the existential idea that individuals must confront their own mortality and the absurdity of life alone.
Critical Questions about “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
- Question 1: How does the poem portray the theme of grief and mourning?
- The poem portrays grief and mourning as a complex and individualized experience. The speaker’s wife is overwhelmed by her grief, while the speaker himself struggles to understand and share her emotions. The poem highlights the tension between the two characters, with the wife feeling alone in her grief and the speaker trying to rationalize their loss. As the poem states, “She let him look, sure that he wouldn’t see, / Blind creature; and awhile he didn’t see” (Lines 15-16). This highlights the wife’s feeling of isolation and the speaker’s inability to truly understand her emotions.
- Question 2: How does the poem explore the relationship between the speaker and his wife?
- The poem explores the relationship between the speaker and his wife as strained and distant. The speaker tries to reach out to his wife, but she pushes him away, feeling that he cannot understand her grief. The poem highlights the gender roles and expectations in their relationship, with the speaker trying to be rational and stoic, while the wife is emotional and expressive. As the poem states, “A man must partly give up being a man / With women-folk” (Lines 65-66). This highlights the tension between the two characters and their inability to connect in their grief.
- Question 3: How does the poem use imagery and symbolism to convey its themes?
- The poem uses imagery and symbolism to convey its themes of grief, mourning, and isolation. The image of the child’s grave and the “little graveyard” (Line 23) serves as a symbol of the couple’s loss and grief. The window and the stairs also serve as symbols of the distance and separation between the couple. As the poem states, “She was starting down, / Looking back over her shoulder at some fear” (Lines 2-3). This highlights the wife’s fear and anxiety, as well as her feeling of being trapped in her grief.
- Question 4: How does the poem’s structure and form contribute to its meaning?
- The poem’s structure and form contribute to its meaning by creating a sense of tension and fragmentation. The poem is written in blank verse, with no rhyme or meter, which creates a sense of natural speech and conversation. The poem’s use of enjambment and caesura also creates a sense of tension and fragmentation, highlighting the couple’s strained relationship and their inability to connect in their grief. As the poem states, “I won’t go now. You’re crying. Close the door. / The heart’s gone out of it: why keep it up” (Lines 113-114). This highlights the speaker’s frustration and the couple’s inability to move forward in their grief.
Literary Works Similar to “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
- “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke: This poem also explores the complexities of a parent-child relationship, though with a focus on the nuances of memory and the potential for both love and pain within familial bonds.
- “Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas: Similar to “Home Burial,” this poem grapples with the theme of death and the emotional turmoil it brings, urging resistance against the inevitability of mortality.
- “Mid-Term Break” by Seamus Heaney: This poem deals with the sudden death of a young sibling, capturing the shock, numbness, and gradual realization of grief in a poignant and personal manner.
- “Because I could not stop for Death” by Emily Dickinson: Like “Home Burial,” this poem explores the theme of death, though through a more metaphorical and allegorical lens, personifying Death as a suitor and reflecting on the journey towards the afterlife.
- “Funeral Blues” by W. H. Auden: This poem is a lament for a deceased lover, expressing profound grief and a sense of loss that resonates with the emotional intensity of “Home Burial.”
Suggested Readings: “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
- Bloom, Harold, editor. Bloom’s Modern Critical Views: Robert Frost. Updated ed., Bloom’s Literary Criticism, 2008.
- Cramer, Jeffrey S. Robert Frost Among His Poems: A Literary Companion to the Poet’s Own Biographical Contexts and Associations. McFarland & Company, Inc., 2015.
- Gray, Richard. American Poetry of the Twentieth Century. Longman Group UK Limited, 1990.
- Jarrell, Randall. “Robert Frost’s ‘Home Burial.'” The Kenyon Review, vol. 5, no. 4, 1943, pp. 682-689, JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/4332562. Accessed 14 June 2024.
- Lynen, John F. The Pastoral Art of Robert Frost. Yale University Press, 1960.
- Thompson, Lawrance. Robert Frost: The Years of Triumph, 1915-1938. Henry Holt and Company, 1970.
- “Home Burial.” Modern American Poetry, University of Illinois, https://www.modernamericanpoetry.org/about-maps, accessed 14 June 2024.
Representative Quotations of “Home Burial” by Robert Frost
| Quotation | Context | Theoretical Perspective (in bold) |
| “She was starting down, / Looking back over her shoulder at some fear.” | The poem opens with Amy, the mother, coming downstairs, lost in thought, and fearful. | Grief and Trauma: Amy’s fear and hesitation reflect her trauma and grief over her son’s death. |
| “The little graveyard where my people are! / So small the window frames the whole of it.” | The husband notices the graveyard and comments on its size. | Symbolism: The graveyard represents the couple’s loss and grief, while the window frames their different perspectives on the same reality. |
| “Can’t a man speak of his own child he’s lost?” | The husband asks Amy why she won’t let him talk about their dead child. | Gender Roles and Communication: The husband’s question highlights the gender roles and communication breakdown in their relationship. |
| “You couldn’t care! The nearest friends can go / With anyone to death, comes so far short.” | Amy accuses her husband of not caring about their son’s death and criticizes how friends respond to grief. | Grief and Isolation: Amy feels isolated in her grief, and her words reflect her sense of disconnection from her husband and society. |
| “But the world’s evil. I won’t have grief so / If I can change it. Oh, I won’t, I won’t!” | Amy expresses her frustration with the world’s response to grief and her determination to resist it. | Resistance and Defiance: Amy’s words show her resistance to the societal norms that dictate how one should grieve and her defiance in the face of her husband’s inability to understand her emotions. |