Introduction: “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
“Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden first appeared in 1673 as part of a collection of Restoration comedies that reflected the complexities and ironies of court life. This play is known for its dual plot structure, interweaving a heroic romance with a satirical comedy of manners. The main themes revolve around the social expectations of marriage, fidelity, and the power dynamics between the sexes. Through its sharp wit, clever dialogue, and exaggerated characters, Dryden presents a critique of the aristocracy’s frivolity and moral ambiguity, making it a notable work for its humor and social commentary. The play’s popularity stems from its reflection of Restoration society’s attitudes toward marriage and relationships, as well as its innovative approach to mixing genres, which provided audiences with both entertainment and a lens into the hypocrisies of their own world.
Text: “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
Why should a foolish marriage vow,
Which long ago was made,
Oblige us to each other now
When passion is decay’d?
We lov’d, and we lov’d, as long as we could,
Till our love was lov’d out in us both:
But our marriage is dead, when the pleasure is fled:
‘Twas pleasure first made it an oath.
If I have pleasures for a friend,
And farther love in store,
What wrong has he whose joys did end,
And who could give no more?
‘Tis a madness that he should be jealous of me,
Or that I should bar him of another:
For all we can gain is to give our selves pain,
When neither can hinder the other.
Annotations: “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
Line | Annotation |
“Why should a foolish marriage vow,” | The speaker questions the validity and purpose of the marriage vow, calling it “foolish” and implying that it may lack enduring significance. |
“Which long ago was made,” | The vow was made in the past, suggesting it may no longer hold relevance in the present. This reflects a sense of temporal distance and change over time. |
“Oblige us to each other now” | The speaker challenges whether they should still be bound by this vow despite changing circumstances, particularly the loss of love or passion. |
“When passion is decay’d?” | The idea of “decay’d passion” suggests that love or desire has faded, hinting at the transient nature of romantic or passionate love in relationships. |
“We lov’d, and we lov’d, as long as we could,” | A reflective acknowledgment that the couple did experience love sincerely, but only “as long as we could,” indicating a natural end to this emotional connection. |
“Till our love was lov’d out in us both:” | This line suggests that their love has been exhausted or depleted; they have given all they could, and now it is gone. The phrase “lov’d out” conveys a sense of emotional fatigue or fulfillment of love’s potential. |
“But our marriage is dead, when the pleasure is fled:” | Here, the speaker states that the essence or vitality of their marriage depended on pleasure, and with its absence, the marriage has lost its meaning or “died.” |
“‘Twas pleasure first made it an oath.” | The speaker attributes the marriage vow or “oath” to pleasure, suggesting that the commitment was based on physical or sensual enjoyment rather than deeper emotional or spiritual bonds. |
“If I have pleasures for a friend,” | This line implies that the speaker finds pleasure outside of marriage, perhaps through companionship or friendship, indicating an alternative source of fulfillment. |
“And farther love in store,” | The speaker hints at potential romantic interests or passions beyond the marriage, indicating a willingness or readiness to explore love anew. |
“What wrong has he whose joys did end,” | The speaker questions whether there is any wrongdoing in seeking pleasure elsewhere, especially if the other party (the spouse) no longer finds joy in the relationship. |
“And who could give no more?” | This line suggests that the spouse is also unable to offer further emotional or passionate engagement, framing the search for external pleasures as reasonable. |
“‘Tis a madness that he should be jealous of me,” | The speaker asserts that jealousy from the spouse would be irrational or “mad,” as the mutual love between them has dissipated. |
“Or that I should bar him of another:” | The speaker also believes it would be wrong to prevent the spouse from pursuing other relationships, suggesting a mutual freedom in seeking new connections. |
“For all we can gain is to give ourselves pain,” | The speaker recognizes that clinging to a dead marriage would only result in pain and suffering for both parties, implying that letting go would be more beneficial. |
“When neither can hinder the other.” | This concluding line emphasizes a sense of individual freedom; neither partner has the right or ability to restrain the other, highlighting a perspective of mutual independence in the face of emotional change. |
Literary And Poetic Devices: “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
Device | Example | Explanation |
Allusion | “marriage vow” | Refers to the traditional marriage vows, invoking societal expectations and the sanctity associated with marriage. |
Antithesis | “We lov’d, and we lov’d, as long as we could” | Contrasts the love they had with its eventual depletion, highlighting the finite nature of their emotions. |
Apostrophe | “Why should a foolish marriage vow” | The speaker directly addresses the concept of the “marriage vow” as if questioning it, personifying the vow as something that can respond. |
Assonance | “pleasures for a friend” | Repetition of the “e” sound adds a melodic quality to the line, emphasizing the speaker’s alternative pursuits of pleasure. |
Caesura | “But our marriage is dead, when the pleasure is fled:” | The comma creates a natural pause, reinforcing the finality and reflective tone of the statement. |
Conceit | “Till our love was lov’d out in us both” | This line uses a conceit, or an extended metaphor, to describe love as something that can be exhausted or “used up.” |
Connotation | “decay’d” | The word “decay’d” has connotations of death and deterioration, emphasizing the end of passion and love in the relationship. |
End-stopping | “Which long ago was made,” | The punctuation at the end of this line reinforces the finality and distance of the vow made in the past. |
Epiphora | “as long as we could” / “in us both” | The repetition of the endings emphasizes the mutual and temporal limits of their love. |
Hyperbole | “all we can gain is to give ourselves pain” | Exaggeration is used here to emphasize that trying to maintain the marriage only causes suffering. |
Irony | “foolish marriage vow” | Referring to a sacred vow as “foolish” introduces irony, challenging traditional views of marriage. |
Juxtaposition | “pleasure” and “oath” | Juxtaposing “pleasure” with “oath” underscores the conflict between temporary desires and permanent commitments. |
Metaphor | “our marriage is dead” | Compares the marriage to something that is alive and has now “died,” symbolizing the end of emotional connection. |
Metonymy | “pleasures for a friend” | “Pleasures” represents romantic or sensual fulfillment, indirectly referring to extramarital interests. |
Paradox | “lov’d out in us both” | This line contains a paradox, as love is often seen as boundless, but here it is portrayed as exhaustible. |
Personification | “our marriage is dead” | Marriage is personified as something that can “die,” attributing human qualities to an abstract concept. |
Repetition | “We lov’d, and we lov’d” | Repeating “we lov’d” emphasizes the sincerity and depth of feeling, while also hinting at its inevitable decline. |
Rhetorical Question | “Why should a foolish marriage vow, / Which long ago was made, / Oblige us to each other now” | The speaker uses a rhetorical question to question the lasting obligation of marriage vows, encouraging readers to consider the purpose of marital bonds. |
Simile | “Till our love was lov’d out in us both” (implied comparison) | Though not a direct simile, it suggests love as something that can be used up like a resource, comparing it to a finite substance. |
Themes: “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
- The Transience of Love and Passion: In “Marriage A-la-Mode,” Dryden explores the impermanence of romantic love, suggesting that passion is fleeting and ultimately fades. The speaker reflects, “We lov’d, and we lov’d, as long as we could, / Till our love was lov’d out in us both,” indicating that their initial attraction and affection were genuine but could not be sustained indefinitely. This theme reflects a more skeptical and realistic view of love, positing that emotional connections, no matter how strong initially, often wane over time. The decay of passion is further emphasized with the line, “When passion is decay’d,” suggesting that love, much like other aspects of life, is subject to the effects of time and can deteriorate, leaving the marriage hollow once the pleasure is gone.
- Critique of Marriage as a Social Institution: Dryden’s poem criticizes the institution of marriage as being based on outdated and often unrealistic expectations. The speaker questions the binding nature of the marriage vow, calling it a “foolish marriage vow, / Which long ago was made.” This language challenges traditional views on marriage, suggesting that a vow made under the influence of passion should not necessarily enforce lifelong commitment. The poem conveys a sense of disillusionment with the concept of marriage, as the speaker implies that the societal obligation to remain married becomes burdensome when love has faded. By juxtaposing pleasure with obligation, Dryden critiques marriage as a socially imposed contract that may not suit the changing nature of human emotions.
- The Pursuit of Personal Freedom: The speaker in “Marriage A-la-Mode” advocates for individual freedom within relationships, especially when love has waned. The line “If I have pleasures for a friend, / And farther love in store” indicates the speaker’s desire to seek new sources of happiness outside the confines of marriage. The speaker questions, “What wrong has he whose joys did end, / And who could give no more?” suggesting that both partners have the right to pursue personal satisfaction without being bound by past promises. This pursuit of freedom highlights Dryden’s progressive stance on relationships, implying that people should be free to explore love and joy beyond a single partnership, especially if the relationship no longer fulfills them.
- Jealousy and Possessiveness in Relationships: Dryden also examines the irrationality of jealousy and possessiveness within marriage, particularly when love has diminished. The speaker calls it “a madness that he should be jealous of me,” arguing that jealousy is unreasonable when both partners have lost affection for one another. This theme highlights the idea that possessiveness is unnecessary and even harmful when the emotional foundation of a relationship has eroded. Instead, Dryden’s speaker advocates for a mutual understanding of freedom: “Or that I should bar him of another,” suggesting that restricting one another’s pursuits in love only leads to unnecessary pain. This perspective challenges traditional ideas of loyalty and fidelity, proposing a more open and understanding approach to relationships.
Literary Theories and “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
Literary Theory | Explanation in Context of “Marriage A-la-Mode” | References from the Poem |
Feminist Theory | Feminist theory examines gender roles and the societal expectations placed on women, especially within marriage. In “Marriage A-la-Mode”, Dryden critiques marriage as an institution that can impose restrictive roles on both men and women, limiting individual freedom and agency. The speaker’s desire for autonomy and lack of jealousy suggest a challenge to traditional marital expectations and the concept of exclusive possession in marriage, especially regarding women’s roles and their right to personal freedom. | “‘Tis a madness that he should be jealous of me, / Or that I should bar him of another,” highlights a rejection of traditional possessiveness in marriage, proposing mutual independence instead. |
Psychoanalytic Theory | Psychoanalytic theory explores subconscious desires, motivations, and the conflict between social duty and personal desire. The speaker’s struggle in “Marriage A-la-Mode” to reconcile his feelings of decayed passion with the marriage vow illustrates a deep inner conflict. His desire for external pleasures reveals a subconscious resistance to societal expectations of fidelity, as well as a search for satisfaction that the marriage can no longer provide. This theory can explain the speaker’s disillusionment with conventional marital expectations and his drive toward self-fulfillment. | “Why should a foolish marriage vow, / Which long ago was made, / Oblige us to each other now / When passion is decay’d?” reflects the speaker’s internal conflict between the vow and his own fading desires. |
Marxist Theory | Marxist theory focuses on societal structures, class relations, and the critique of ideology, particularly the ways institutions can maintain social order. In “Marriage A-la-Mode,” marriage is viewed as a social contract rather than a relationship based on enduring love, suggesting it serves as a tool to enforce conformity and control. The speaker’s dismissal of the vow as “foolish” indicates a rejection of the institution as outdated and incompatible with individual needs, challenging the idea that marriage should serve as an instrument of social stability. | “But our marriage is dead, when the pleasure is fled: / ‘Twas pleasure first made it an oath” critiques marriage as a social institution bound by pleasure rather than meaningful bonds, questioning its long-term societal value. |
Critical Questions about “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
- What is Dryden’s critique of the institution of marriage, and how does he present this critique through the speaker’s perspective?
- In “Marriage A-la-Mode,”Dryden questions the societal expectations surrounding marriage, particularly the idea of an unbreakable marital bond. The speaker expresses disillusionment with the marriage vow, describing it as a “foolish marriage vow, / Which long ago was made.” This line suggests a disconnect between the vow’s initial meaning and its present significance, raising questions about the relevance of lifelong promises in a relationship where passion has decayed. By portraying marriage as an outdated commitment that persists despite the loss of love, Dryden critiques the rigid social institution that may trap individuals in unfulfilling relationships, ultimately questioning the value of marriage as an enduring contract.
- How does the speaker’s perspective on jealousy challenge traditional notions of fidelity and loyalty in marriage?
- The speaker’s dismissal of jealousy as “a madness” that would “bar him of another” reflects a radical view on fidelity, advocating for mutual freedom within marriage rather than possessive loyalty. This perspective challenges traditional marital expectations, where loyalty and exclusivity are foundational to the commitment. Dryden presents jealousy as an unnecessary source of “pain” when love has faded, suggesting that personal satisfaction should take precedence over societal standards of fidelity. By questioning the importance of exclusivity, Dryden invites readers to consider whether marriage should be redefined in a way that acknowledges individual desires and autonomy, especially in relationships where mutual affection no longer exists.
- What role does personal freedom play in the speaker’s understanding of love and commitment?
- Personal freedom is central to the speaker’s view on relationships, as he believes that both partners should have the autonomy to seek pleasure beyond marriage. This idea is highlighted in the line, “If I have pleasures for a friend, / And farther love in store,” indicating that the speaker sees love and companionship as dynamic, evolving needs that may not be fully satisfied within the bounds of a single relationship. The speaker’s emphasis on personal fulfillment over traditional commitment suggests a redefinition of love, one that values individual happiness over rigid marital expectations. Dryden uses this perspective to question the relevance of lifelong marriage in a society where desires and needs are ever-changing.
- How does Dryden use the decay of passion to explore the theme of emotional exhaustion in relationships?
- In “Marriage A-la-Mode,” Dryden explores the concept of love as something that can be “lov’d out in us both,” suggesting that emotional and physical desire can be exhausted over time. The speaker’s acknowledgment that “passion is decay’d” raises the question of whether it is realistic to expect love to remain constant in a marriage. This focus on the decay of passion emphasizes the idea that romantic relationships may have a natural lifespan, with love potentially “dying” as desire fades. Through this, Dryden examines the weariness that can result from forcing a relationship to endure past its natural end, critiquing societal expectations that compel individuals to maintain marital bonds despite emotional exhaustion and loss of connection.
Literary Works Similar to “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
- “The Scrutiny” by Richard Lovelace: Similar in its exploration of fleeting love and the desire for freedom outside of monogamy, this poem questions the notion of exclusive commitment, much like Dryden’s critique of marriage.
- “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell: This poem shares Dryden’s theme of passion’s impermanence, urging a lover to seize the moment and suggesting that love and desire are temporal and bound to fade.
- “Song: Go, Lovely Rose” by Edmund Waller: Waller’s poem also reflects on the transience of beauty and passion, echoing Dryden’s view on the decay of romantic attraction over time.
- “A Song (Ask Me No More)” by Thomas Carew: Carew’s poem conveys the disillusionment that often follows initial passion, much like Dryden’s portrayal of love’s eventual exhaustion in marriage.
- “The Broken Heart” by John Donne: Donne’s poem examines the pain and finality of love’s end, similar to Dryden’s reflection on how passion can fade and leave an emotional void within relationships.
Representative Quotations of “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
Quotation | Context | Theoretical Perspective |
“Why should a foolish marriage vow, / Which long ago was made,” | The speaker questions the relevance of a vow made in the past, highlighting a sense of disillusionment. | Marxist Theory – Critiques marriage as a social institution that binds individuals to outdated promises. |
“Oblige us to each other now / When passion is decay’d?” | The speaker argues that marriage obligations should not continue once love and desire have faded. | Psychoanalytic Theory – Examines the inner conflict between social duty and personal desire. |
“We lov’d, and we lov’d, as long as we could” | Acknowledges that the initial love was genuine but ultimately had limits, emphasizing the transience of passion. | New Historicism – Reflects Restoration society’s changing attitudes toward marriage and love as fluid concepts. |
“Till our love was lov’d out in us both:” | Suggests that love has been exhausted or used up, presenting love as finite. | Existentialism – Views love as an experience that, like any emotion, has a limited lifespan. |
“But our marriage is dead, when the pleasure is fled:” | The speaker equates the end of pleasure with the “death” of marriage, redefining its essence. | Feminist Theory – Critiques the conventional view of marriage by proposing that fulfillment is essential to its validity. |
“‘Twas pleasure first made it an oath.” | Suggests that the marriage vow was made under the influence of pleasure rather than deeper commitment. | Marxist Theory – Implies that social contracts like marriage are based on temporary emotions, questioning their long-term societal role. |
“If I have pleasures for a friend, / And farther love in store” | The speaker hints at seeking love and companionship beyond marriage, advocating for individual freedom. | Liberal Humanism – Emphasizes the importance of personal fulfillment over traditional societal expectations. |
“What wrong has he whose joys did end, / And who could give no more?” | Questions whether it is wrong to seek happiness elsewhere once the joy in marriage has faded. | Ethical Relativism – Suggests that moral judgments about fidelity are subjective and dependent on individual circumstances. |
“‘Tis a madness that he should be jealous of me” | The speaker dismisses jealousy as irrational once love has decayed, promoting mutual independence. | Feminist Theory – Challenges possessiveness in relationships and traditional notions of marital fidelity. |
“For all we can gain is to give ourselves pain, / When neither can hinder the other.” | The speaker highlights that staying in a loveless marriage only causes pain, advocating for autonomy. | Existentialism – Emphasizes freedom and personal responsibility over societal expectations in relationships. |
Suggested Readings: “Marriage A-la-Mode” by John Dryden
- Kalitzki, Judith. “Versions of Truth: Marriage à La Mode.” Restoration: Studies in English Literary Culture, 1660-1700, vol. 4, no. 2, 1980, pp. 65–70. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/43292320. Accessed 10 Nov. 2024.
- McKeon, Michael. “MARXIST CRITICISM AND ‘MARRIAGE A LA MODE.'” The Eighteenth Century, vol. 24, no. 2, 1983, pp. 141–62. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/41467289. Accessed 10 Nov. 2024.
- Milhous, Judith. Theatre Journal, vol. 35, no. 3, 1983, pp. 416–18. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/3207225. Accessed 10 Nov. 2024.
- Denman, Jason. “‘Too Hasty to Stay’: Erotic and Political Timing in ‘Marriage à La Mode.'” Restoration: Studies in English Literary Culture, 1660-1700, vol. 32, no. 2, 2008, pp. 1–23. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/43293813. Accessed 10 Nov. 2024.