Introduction: “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
“Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt, first published in 1972 in his poetry collection Drunkard’s Garden, shows its conversational tone, which is a hallmark of Hunt’s style, blending colloquial language with deep emotional insight. He reflects on themes of motherhood and loss, drawing on personal experiences to create a poignant narrative. The main idea centers around the complexities of familial relationships, particularly the bond between mother and child, and the inevitable grief that accompanies the passage of time. Through simple yet evocative language, Hunt captures the delicate balance between love and sorrow.
Text: “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
My mother called my father ‘Mr Hunt’
For the first few years of married life.
I learned this from a book she had inscribed:
‘To dear Mr Hunt, from his loving wife.’
She was embarrassed when I asked her why
But later on explained how hard it had been
To call him any other name at first, when he –
Her father’s elder – made her seem so small.
Now in a different way, still like a girl,
She calls my father every other sort of name;
And guiding him as he roams old age
Sometimes turns to me as if it were a game…
That once I stand up straight, I too must learn
To walk away and know there’s no return.
Annotations: “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
| Line | Text | Analysis |
| 1 | “My mother called my father ‘Mr Hunt'” | This opening line highlights formality and distance in the early stages of the parents’ relationship. The mother addresses the father with a formal title, suggesting both respect and perhaps a lack of intimacy. |
| 2 | “For the first few years of married life.” | The duration (“first few years”) reinforces the idea that this formality persisted for some time, reflecting traditional marital dynamics in which the woman might have felt subordinated or deferential. |
| 3 | “I learned this from a book she had inscribed:” | The son (narrator) discovers this detail indirectly through a written inscription in a book, signaling a sense of family history and personal reflection. The act of inscribing personal messages in books also conveys the cultural value placed on formal gestures. |
| 4 | “‘To dear Mr Hunt, from his loving wife.'” | The inscription itself blends affection (“dear” and “loving wife”) with the formality of “Mr Hunt,” emphasizing the tension between closeness and distance in the relationship. |
| 5 | “She was embarrassed when I asked her why” | The mother’s embarrassment signals that this formality now feels outdated or awkward to her. It suggests that her feelings towards her husband, and perhaps her role within the marriage, have evolved. |
| 6 | “But later on explained how hard it had been” | This line introduces the mother’s explanation, pointing to the emotional difficulty and complexity of navigating the social expectations of marriage. The phrase “how hard it had been” suggests her initial discomfort in transitioning from daughter to wife. |
| 7 | “To call him any other name at first, when he –” | The dash at the end of this line indicates a pause or a hesitation in the explanation, reflecting the emotional weight of what she is about to reveal, which ties into the familial power dynamics. |
| 8 | “Her father’s elder – made her seem so small.” | The father is revealed to be older than her own father, reinforcing a power imbalance in age and authority. The phrase “made her seem so small” highlights her feelings of inferiority or diminishment, as if she is a child in the relationship. This also suggests patriarchal norms where age and male authority hold sway. |
| 9 | “Now in a different way, still like a girl,” | This line signals a shift in the relationship dynamic. The mother is now “still like a girl,” but in a different context, perhaps indicating that despite her growth in age and experience, some childlike behaviors remain, suggesting an enduring sense of vulnerability or playfulness. |
| 10 | “She calls my father every other sort of name;” | The formality of “Mr Hunt” has been replaced by a more familiar, possibly teasing or affectionate use of names. This marks the transformation in their relationship, from formal and distant to informal and intimate, where different “sorts of names” indicate a comfort level and equality. |
| 11 | “And guiding him as he roams old age” | The roles have reversed, and now the mother takes on a guiding or caregiving role as the father ages. The phrase “roams old age” suggests a lack of control or vulnerability in old age, with the mother stepping in to provide direction and support. |
| 12 | “Sometimes turns to me as if it were a game…” | The mother’s actions towards her aging husband are described as a “game,” suggesting a light-hearted, perhaps ironic acceptance of the changes in their roles. It may also reflect the emotional complexities of watching a loved one age, as humor often masks deeper feelings. |
| 13 | “That once I stand up straight, I too must learn” | This line shifts focus to the son, signaling his recognition of the inevitable responsibilities he will face as his parents age. “Standing up straight” implies maturity, readiness, and the emotional strength required for this role. |
| 14 | “To walk away and know there’s no return.” | The poem concludes with a powerful reflection on the finality of life and relationships. “Walk away” suggests the inevitability of loss or separation, while “no return” underscores the irreversible nature of death or the passage of time. This line brings the themes of familial roles, aging, and mortality full circle. |
Literary And Poetic Devices: “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
| Device | Example | Explanation |
| Alliteration | “But later on explained how hard it had been” | The repetition of the “h” sound in “how hard” emphasizes the difficulty the mother felt in addressing her husband in a less formal way early in their marriage. |
| Allusion | Title: “Stabat Mater” | The title alludes to the Latin hymn Stabat Mater Dolorosa, which is associated with Mary mourning the loss of her son, creating a thematic parallel between maternal love and loss. |
| Assonance | “But later on explained how hard it had been” | The repetition of the “a” sound in “later,” “explained,” and “hard” creates a subtle internal rhyme, contributing to the emotional tone of the line. |
| Caesura | “To call him any other name at first, when he –” | The dash in the middle of the line creates a pause, reflecting the mother’s emotional hesitation when explaining her early struggles with addressing her husband. |
| Colloquialism | “every other sort of name;” | The informal phrase mirrors the relaxed tone of the mother’s current relationship with her husband, contrasting with the formality of earlier years. |
| Contrast | “Her father’s elder – made her seem so small.” | The contrast between the father’s age and the mother’s feeling of being “so small” highlights the power dynamics in their early relationship, emphasizing her initial sense of inferiority. |
| Dialogue | “‘To dear Mr Hunt, from his loving wife.'” | The inscription within the poem functions as indirect dialogue, offering a glimpse into the formal communication between the parents early in their marriage. |
| Diction | “roams old age” | The use of “roams” suggests a sense of wandering and vulnerability in old age, highlighting the father’s weakening state and dependence on the mother. |
| Ellipsis | “Sometimes turns to me as if it were a game…” | The ellipsis suggests an unfinished thought, reflecting the complexity and ambiguity in the mother’s approach to caregiving in old age. |
| Enjambment | “But later on explained how hard it had been / To call him any other name at first” | The continuation of the sentence across two lines mirrors the natural flow of conversation, emphasizing the ongoing explanation of the mother’s emotional journey. |
| Epiphora | “To dear Mr Hunt, from his loving wife.” | The repetition of formal terms like “Mr Hunt” and “wife” emphasizes the distance and formality in the early years of the marriage. |
| Hyperbole | “Her father’s elder – made her seem so small.” | The use of “so small” exaggerates the mother’s feelings of insignificance, amplifying her sense of being overwhelmed by her husband’s authority. |
| Imagery | “And guiding him as he roams old age” | This line creates a visual image of the mother guiding her aging husband, evoking a sense of tenderness and role reversal as he becomes more dependent. |
| Irony | “She calls my father every other sort of name;” | It is ironic that the mother once addressed her husband so formally as “Mr Hunt,” but now, in old age, uses a variety of informal names, indicating a shift in their relationship dynamic. |
| Juxtaposition | “Now in a different way, still like a girl,” | The juxtaposition of the mother being “like a girl” both in her younger and older years emphasizes the cyclical nature of dependency and vulnerability in relationships. |
| Metaphor | “Sometimes turns to me as if it were a game…” | The caregiving dynamic is compared to a “game,” suggesting both the inevitability and absurdity of aging, where humor helps cope with the challenges of the situation. |
| Oxymoron | “Guiding him as he roams old age” | The contradiction between “guiding” (suggesting control) and “roams” (suggesting aimlessness) reflects the tension between autonomy and dependence in old age. |
| Parallelism | “That once I stand up straight, I too must learn / To walk away and know there’s no return.” | The parallel structure of these lines underscores the inevitability of growing up and the eventual necessity of confronting loss. |
| Personification | “roams old age” | Old age is personified as something the father “roams,” suggesting it is a confusing and uncontrolled state through which the mother must guide him. |
| Symbolism | “To walk away and know there’s no return.” | Walking away symbolizes the inevitability of death and loss, with “no return” representing the irreversible passage of time and the finality of life. |
Themes: “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
- The Evolution of Relationships: One of the central themes of “Stabat Mater” is the evolution of relationships, particularly within the context of marriage. The poem illustrates how the dynamic between the mother and father changes over time. Initially, the mother refers to her husband as “Mr Hunt” (Line 1), signifying formality and distance in the early years of their marriage. As time passes, this formality dissolves, and the mother adopts a more informal and affectionate tone, calling him “every other sort of name” (Line 10). This shift reflects a broader transformation from a hierarchical, respectful relationship to one rooted in familiarity, comfort, and even humor as the couple ages. The poem thus highlights how relationships evolve, shifting from formality to intimacy as both partners grow older.
- The Passage of Time and Aging: The inevitability of aging is another key theme in “Stabat Mater”. The poem explores how the mother and father’s relationship changes as they grow older, particularly focusing on the reversal of roles. The mother, once feeling “so small” compared to her elder husband (Line 8), now guides him “as he roams old age” (Line 11). The imagery of the father “roaming” through old age emphasizes his frailty and loss of control, while the mother’s role as a caregiver signals the inevitable decline that comes with time. The final lines, where the speaker reflects on learning to “walk away and know there’s no return” (Line 14), underline the theme of aging as an irreversible process, reinforcing the bittersweet nature of life’s progression.
- Family Roles and Responsibility: The poem also delves into the shifting roles and responsibilities within a family. Early in the marriage, the mother feels subordinate to her older husband, but as the poem progresses, the roles reverse. Now, in his old age, the father is dependent on the mother, and she guides him through his final years (Line 11). Additionally, the speaker, their child, acknowledges that he too will one day “stand up straight” and take on the role of responsibility, accepting the inevitability of caring for aging parents (Line 13). This generational shift in responsibility underscores the cyclical nature of family roles, where children eventually inherit the duty of care for their parents.
- Mortality and Loss: Mortality is a deeply embedded theme in “Stabat Mater”, especially in its concluding lines. The speaker contemplates the inevitable loss that comes with age, suggesting that once he “walk[s] away,” there will be “no return” (Line 14). This powerful reflection speaks to the finality of life, evoking both the inevitability of death and the emotional toll of accepting it. The poem’s title, Stabat Mater, an allusion to the sorrowful mother Mary at the foot of Christ’s cross, further intensifies this theme. It connects the mother’s care for her aging husband and the speaker’s future responsibilities with the universal experience of confronting mortality and the sense of no return.
Literary Theories and “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
| Literary Theory | Analysis | References from the Poem |
| Feminist Theory | A feminist reading of “Stabat Mater” highlights the mother’s evolving role from a subservient figure to one of authority and caregiving. Initially, she calls her husband “Mr Hunt” (Line 1), signaling the power imbalance in their early marriage where she feels “so small” (Line 8). However, as the father ages, the mother assumes control, guiding him “as he roams old age” (Line 11). This role reversal aligns with feminist critiques of traditional gender dynamics, showcasing the mother’s growth from a passive figure to an active caregiver and decision-maker in the relationship. | “She was embarrassed when I asked her why” (Line 5) / “made her seem so small” (Line 8) / “guiding him as he roams old age” (Line 11) |
| Psychoanalytic Theory | From a psychoanalytic perspective, “Stabat Mater” explores the unconscious dynamics between parents and their child, as well as internal conflicts within the mother’s psyche. The mother’s early struggle to call her husband anything but “Mr Hunt” (Line 1) may reveal deeper feelings of insecurity and the internalization of patriarchal authority. The father’s old age (Line 11) triggers a reversal in family roles, where the child sees both parents become more vulnerable. The speaker’s reflection on his future responsibilities, “I too must learn / To walk away and know there’s no return” (Lines 13–14), suggests the inevitability of separation anxiety and the eventual need to confront parental loss. | “To call him any other name at first” (Line 7) / “still like a girl” (Line 9) / “I too must learn / To walk away and know there’s no return” (Lines 13-14) |
| Structuralism | A structuralist analysis of “Stabat Mater” focuses on the binary oppositions in the poem, such as youth versus old age, formality versus informality, and dependence versus independence. The contrast between the mother’s earlier, formal address of her husband (“Mr Hunt”) and her later, more casual relationship (“calls my father every other sort of name” Line 10) exemplifies a shift from formality to familiarity. Another opposition is the shift in caregiving roles, where the father, once a figure of authority, becomes dependent on the mother as she “guides” him through old age (Line 11). These binary oppositions highlight the structural framework of relationships and life stages that the poem explores. | “My mother called my father ‘Mr Hunt'” (Line 1) / “calls my father every other sort of name” (Line 10) / “guiding him as he roams old age” (Line 11) |
Critical Questions about “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
· How does the shift in the mother’s role reflect societal expectations of women in relationships?
- In “Stabat Mater,” the mother’s role evolves from a formal and submissive partner to a caregiver guiding her aging husband. Early in the poem, she addresses her husband as “Mr Hunt” (Line 1), adhering to a traditional, patriarchal structure where the wife shows respect through formality. This reflects societal expectations of women being subordinate to their husbands, particularly when the husband is older and in a position of authority, as implied when she says, “Her father’s elder – made her seem so small” (Line 8). However, as time passes, the dynamic shifts, and she becomes his guide “as he roams old age” (Line 11). This shift raises questions about how societal expectations of gender roles in marriage evolve over time, particularly in the face of aging and dependency.
· How does the theme of mortality influence the speaker’s reflection on family roles?
- The final lines of the poem, “I too must learn / To walk away and know there’s no return” (Lines 13–14), offer a poignant reflection on mortality and its impact on familial responsibilities. The speaker recognizes that, just as his mother has taken on the role of caring for her aging husband, he too will face the inevitability of loss and the burden of responsibility as his parents age. The sense of “no return” signals the finality of death and the inescapable reality that life progresses in one direction. Mortality not only shapes the speaker’s understanding of his parents’ aging but also forces him to confront his future role in the family. How does the inevitability of death affect the speaker’s perception of his own responsibilities and identity within the family?
· What role does irony play in the poem’s depiction of the parents’ relationship?
- Irony is a key device in “Stabat Mater,” particularly in the contrast between the early formality of the mother addressing her husband as “Mr Hunt” (Line 1) and her later, more relaxed way of calling him “every other sort of name” (Line 10). The shift from formality to informality, coupled with her guiding him “as he roams old age” (Line 11), creates a reversal of roles that is both tender and ironic. The once-authoritative figure of the husband becomes dependent on the wife, who had initially felt “so small” in his presence (Line 8). How does the poem’s use of irony challenge traditional power dynamics in relationships, particularly in old age?
· How does the speaker’s perspective on his parents’ relationship evolve throughout the poem?
- The speaker begins with a factual recount of his mother’s early relationship with his father, noting how she called him “Mr Hunt” (Line 1) and felt small in his presence. However, as the poem progresses, his tone becomes more reflective, particularly in his observations about how his mother now “guides” his father through old age (Line 11) and occasionally turns to him, as if caregiving were “a game” (Line 12). By the end, the speaker acknowledges his own role in the family’s cycle of care, understanding that he will eventually have to “learn / To walk away and know there’s no return” (Lines 13–14). How does the speaker’s understanding of familial roles deepen as he observes his parents aging, and how does this reflection shape his sense of responsibility?
Literary Works Similar to “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
- “Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas
Both poems explore themes of aging and mortality, with a focus on the relationship between parent and child. - “Follower” by Seamus Heaney
This poem similarly examines the shifting roles within a family, particularly the son’s reflection on his father’s aging and dependence. - “Father and Son” by Mary Nagy
Like “Stabat Mater,” this poem explores the changing dynamics between parent and child as they grow older, with a focus on care and responsibility. - “Mother to Son” by Langston Hughes
Hughes’ poem, like Hunt’s, deals with the wisdom passed from parent to child, reflecting on perseverance and the trials of life. - “On My First Son” by Ben Jonson
Both poems explore the emotional complexities of parenthood, though Jonson’s focuses more on loss, while Hunt’s reflects on aging and familial roles.
Representative Quotations of “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
| Quotation | Context | Theoretical Perspective |
| “My mother called my father ‘Mr Hunt'” | This line introduces the formal relationship between the speaker’s parents in the early years of their marriage, emphasizing distance and respect. | Feminist Theory: Highlights the traditional power imbalance and formal gender roles in marriage. |
| “For the first few years of married life.” | Refers to the sustained formality in the initial stages of the parents’ relationship, signaling a long period of emotional distance. | Structuralism: The binary opposition of formality versus intimacy is introduced, suggesting gradual transformation in the relationship. |
| “To dear Mr Hunt, from his loving wife.” | An inscription in a book shows the mother’s early deference to her husband, blending affection with formality. | Psychoanalytic Theory: Suggests internalized social expectations and unconscious feelings of inferiority in the mother. |
| “She was embarrassed when I asked her why” | The mother is embarrassed when asked why she referred to her husband so formally, reflecting her changed perspective on their relationship. | Feminist Theory: Embarrassment indicates a shift away from traditional roles, as the mother now views this formality as outdated. |
| “Her father’s elder – made her seem so small.” | The mother reflects on how her husband’s age and authority made her feel insignificant at the beginning of their marriage. | Psychoanalytic Theory: The mother’s feeling of being “small” suggests unconscious fears of inadequacy tied to patriarchal dominance. |
| “Now in a different way, still like a girl,” | This line marks the shift in the mother’s behavior in old age, where she retains a childlike quality in her interactions with her husband. | Structuralism: The juxtaposition of her younger and older selves emphasizes the cyclical nature of gender dynamics and dependency. |
| “She calls my father every other sort of name;” | As the relationship matures, the mother’s formality disappears, and she now uses informal, even playful names for her husband. | Irony: Reflects the role reversal and informality that comes with aging, contrasting with the formality of earlier years. |
| “And guiding him as he roams old age” | The mother now assumes the role of caretaker, guiding the father through his declining years. | Feminist Theory: The shift in roles subverts traditional power dynamics, with the woman now in a position of authority. |
| “Sometimes turns to me as if it were a game…” | The mother occasionally involves the speaker, her son, in the caregiving, suggesting a light-hearted but complex approach to aging and dependency. | Psychoanalytic Theory: The “game” metaphor reveals the coping mechanisms used to deal with the emotional complexity of caring for aging parents. |
| “I too must learn / To walk away and know there’s no return.” | The speaker reflects on his inevitable future role in facing the loss of his parents and the finality of life. | Mortality and Existentialism: Acknowledges the existential inevitability of death and the emotional weight of familial loss. |
Suggested Readings: “Stabat Mater” by Sam Hunt
- Locke, Terry. “Sounds like Us.” Journal of New Zealand Literature (JNZL), no. 25, 2007, pp. 174–77. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/20112451. Accessed 18 Oct. 2024.
- Bornholdt, Jenny, Gregory O’Brien, and Mark Williams, eds. An Anthology of New Zealand Poetry in English. Oxford University Press, 1997. Print.