Introduction: “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
“The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz, first appeared in his 1971 collection The Testing-Tree, explores the profound emotional impact of a father’s suicide on the poet’s life, particularly through the lens of his mother’s unresolved grief and the lasting scars it left on their relationship. The central theme revolves around the transmission of unexpressed emotions and the weight of absence, as Kunitz reflects on how his father’s death shaped his identity and his mother’s inability to forgive or move on. The poem’s raw honesty and vivid imagery, such as the moment when the mother “ripped [the portrait] into shreds / without a single word / and slapped me hard,” resonate deeply with readers, capturing the complexity of familial pain and the enduring nature of trauma. Its popularity as a textbook poem stems from its universal themes of loss, memory, and the search for identity, as well as its masterful use of language to evoke visceral emotions. The line, “In my sixty-fourth year / I can feel my cheek / still burning,” exemplifies the poem’s power to convey how past wounds continue to shape the present, making it a timeless piece for literary analysis and emotional reflection.
Text: “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
My mother never forgave my father
for killing himself,
especially at such an awkward time
and in a public park,
that spring
when I was waiting to be born.
She locked his name
in her deepest cabinet
and would not let him out,
though I could hear him thumping.
When I came down from the attic
with the pastel portrait in my hand
of a long-lipped stranger
with a brave moustache
and deep brown level eyes,
she ripped it into shreds
without a single word
and slapped me hard.
In my sixty-fourth year
I can feel my cheek
still burning.
Annotations: “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
Line(s) | Literary Device | Explanation of Device | Meaning of the Lines |
My mother never forgave my father | Tone (Resentment) | The tone is set as resentful, reflecting the mother’s enduring anger and inability to forgive. | The mother’s unresolved grief and anger toward the father’s suicide are introduced, establishing the emotional tension in the poem. |
for killing himself, | Enjambment | The line breaks abruptly, emphasizing the gravity of the father’s suicide. | The abruptness mirrors the shock and finality of the father’s act, highlighting its impact on the family. |
especially at such an awkward time | Irony | The word “awkward” is ironic, as suicide is tragic, not merely inconvenient. | The mother’s perspective is revealed, showing her bitterness about the timing of the suicide, which adds to her resentment. |
and in a public park, | Imagery | The setting is described vividly, evoking a sense of exposure and public shame. | The public nature of the suicide amplifies the mother’s humiliation and the family’s trauma, making the event even more painful. |
that spring | Symbolism | Spring symbolizes renewal and life, contrasting with the father’s death. | The juxtaposition of spring (a time of birth and growth) with the father’s suicide underscores the tragedy and the disruption of natural cycles. |
when I was waiting to be born. | Paradox | The speaker’s impending birth contrasts with the father’s death, creating a paradox. | The speaker’s life begins as the father’s ends, emphasizing the absence of a father figure and the emotional void left behind. |
She locked his name | Metaphor | The mother’s emotional suppression is compared to locking something away. | The mother’s refusal to acknowledge or speak of the father symbolizes her attempt to bury the pain and memory of him. |
in her deepest cabinet | Imagery | The “deepest cabinet” evokes a hidden, inaccessible place, symbolizing repressed emotions. | The mother’s grief and anger are deeply buried, suggesting her inability to process or move past the trauma. |
and would not let him out, | Personification | The father’s memory is personified as something trapped and struggling to escape. | The father’s memory continues to haunt the family, symbolizing the inescapable nature of their grief and the mother’s refusal to confront it. |
though I could hear him thumping. | Auditory Imagery | The sound of “thumping” suggests the persistence of the father’s memory and its emotional weight. | Despite the mother’s efforts to suppress the memory, the father’s presence remains alive in the speaker’s mind, symbolizing unresolved trauma. |
When I came down from the attic | Symbolism | The attic symbolizes the past and hidden memories. | The speaker’s journey to the attic represents an attempt to uncover and understand the past, particularly the father’s legacy. |
with the pastel portrait in my hand | Symbolism | The portrait symbolizes the father’s memory and the speaker’s attempt to connect with him. | The portrait becomes a tangible link to the father, representing the speaker’s desire to know and remember him. |
of a long-lipped stranger | Imagery | The description of the father as a “stranger” emphasizes his absence and the speaker’s lack of connection to him. | The father remains an enigmatic figure, someone the speaker never truly knew, highlighting the emotional distance caused by his early death. |
with a brave moustache | Oxymoron | The word “brave” contrasts with the father’s suicide, which is often seen as an act of despair, not bravery. | The speaker’s description of the father as “brave” may reflect a child’s idealized view of a parent, even in the face of his tragic end. |
and deep brown level eyes, | Imagery | The detailed description of the father’s eyes creates a vivid image, humanizing him. | The father’s eyes suggest depth and emotion, making him more real to the speaker and the reader, despite his absence. |
she ripped it into shreds | Violent Imagery | The act of ripping the portrait conveys the mother’s intense anger and unresolved grief. | The mother’s destruction of the portrait symbolizes her refusal to accept the father’s memory and her attempt to erase him from their lives. |
without a single word | Silence as Symbolism | The mother’s silence underscores her inability to express her pain and the depth of her resentment. | The lack of words highlights the emotional repression and the unspoken tension within the family. |
and slapped me hard. | Physical Imagery | The slap is a physical manifestation of the mother’s emotional turmoil. | The slap represents the transfer of pain from the mother to the speaker, symbolizing how trauma is passed down through generations. |
In my sixty-fourth year | Reflection | The speaker reflects on the event from a distance of many years. | The passage of time underscores the lasting impact of the trauma, showing how childhood wounds continue to affect the speaker even in old age. |
I can feel my cheek | Sensory Imagery | The physical sensation of the cheek burning connects the past to the present. | The memory of the slap remains vivid, symbolizing the enduring pain and emotional scars left by the mother’s actions. |
still burning. | Metaphor | The burning cheek symbolizes the lasting emotional pain and the inability to forget. | The poem ends with a powerful image of unresolved pain, emphasizing how the past continues to haunt the speaker, even decades later. |
Themes: “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
1. The Lingering Impact of Trauma
“The Portrait” explores how trauma, particularly from a parent’s suicide, leaves lasting emotional scars that persist across generations. The speaker recounts his father’s suicide, which occurred “that spring / when I was waiting to be born,” highlighting how the event shaped his life even before he was born. The mother’s inability to forgive the father and her violent reaction to the portrait—”she ripped it into shreds / without a single word / and slapped me hard”—demonstrate how unresolved grief and anger are passed down. The speaker’s reflection, “In my sixty-fourth year / I can feel my cheek / still burning,” underscores the enduring nature of this trauma, showing how childhood wounds continue to affect him decades later. Through these moments, “The Portrait” reveals the profound and lasting impact of familial trauma.
2. The Burden of Unresolved Grief
In “The Portrait,” the poem delves into the destructive power of unprocessed grief, particularly through the mother’s character. She “locked his name / in her deepest cabinet / and would not let him out,” symbolizing her refusal to confront or heal from the pain of her husband’s suicide. Her act of destroying the portrait and slapping the speaker reveals her inability to move past the trauma, instead channeling her pain into anger and repression. This theme is further emphasized by the speaker’s observation that he could still hear his father “thumping,” suggesting that the memory of the father and the grief surrounding his death remain alive and unresolved. “The Portrait” illustrates how unaddressed grief can fester and affect future generations.
3. The Search for Identity and Connection
“The Portrait” captures the speaker’s quest to understand his own identity and connect with the father he never knew. The discovery of the father’s portrait in the attic represents this search, as the portrait depicts “a long-lipped stranger / with a brave moustache / and deep brown level eyes,” highlighting the father’s enigmatic presence in the speaker’s life. By bringing the portrait to his mother, the speaker seeks to bridge the gap between past and present, but her violent rejection of the portrait—”she ripped it into shreds”—symbolizes the impossibility of fully understanding or reconciling with the past. This theme in “The Portrait” reflects the universal human desire to know one’s roots and the pain of being denied that connection.
4. The Cycle of Pain and Repression
“The Portrait” illustrates how pain and repression can become cyclical, passed from one generation to the next. The mother’s refusal to acknowledge the father’s memory—”she locked his name / in her deepest cabinet”—and her violent reaction to the portrait demonstrate her inability to process her grief. This repression is then transferred to the speaker, who experiences the physical and emotional pain of her slap: “she ripped it into shreds / without a single word / and slapped me hard.” The speaker’s lingering memory of the slap, “still burning” in his sixty-fourth year, shows how the cycle of pain continues, affecting him long after the event. Through this, “The Portrait” reveals how unresolved emotions can perpetuate suffering across generations.
5. The Power of Memory and the Past
Memory plays a central role in “The Portrait,” as the speaker reflects on how the past continues to shape the present. The father’s suicide, the mother’s grief, and the speaker’s discovery of the portrait are all moments frozen in time, yet their impact is felt decades later. The portrait itself serves as a tangible link to the past, but its destruction by the mother symbolizes the difficulty of reconciling with painful memories. The speaker’s reflection, “In my sixty-fourth year / I can feel my cheek / still burning,” underscores how the past remains alive in the present, shaping the speaker’s identity and emotions. This theme in “The Portrait” highlights the inescapable nature of memory and its power to influence our lives.
Literary Theories and “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
Literary Theory | Application to “The Portrait” | References from the Poem |
Psychoanalytic Theory | This theory focuses on the unconscious mind, repressed emotions, and familial dynamics. The poem explores the mother’s repressed grief and anger, as well as the speaker’s unresolved trauma from his father’s suicide. | – “She locked his name / in her deepest cabinet / and would not let him out” (repression). – “she ripped it into shreds / without a single word / and slapped me hard” (unresolved anger). – “I can feel my cheek / still burning” (trauma). |
Feminist Theory | Feminist theory examines power dynamics and gender roles. The mother’s dominance in the household and her violent reaction to the portrait reflect her struggle with societal expectations and her role as a widow left to cope with her husband’s suicide. | – “My mother never forgave my father / for killing himself” (gender roles and expectations). – “she ripped it into shreds / without a single word” (expression of suppressed power and anger). |
Trauma Theory | Trauma theory analyzes how traumatic events are represented and their lasting effects. The poem vividly portrays the trauma of the father’s suicide and its intergenerational impact on the mother and speaker. | – “that spring / when I was waiting to be born” (trauma before birth). – “I can feel my cheek / still burning” (lasting emotional and physical impact). – “though I could hear him thumping” (haunting memory of trauma). |
Reader-Response Theory | This theory emphasizes the reader’s personal interpretation and emotional response to the text. The poem’s raw emotion and vivid imagery invite readers to reflect on their own experiences with grief, family, and memory. | – “she ripped it into shreds / without a single word” (evokes shock and empathy). – “In my sixty-fourth year / I can feel my cheek / still burning” (resonates with readers who have experienced lasting emotional pain). |
Explanation of the Theories in Context:
- Psychoanalytic Theory:
The poem delves into the unconscious emotions of the mother and speaker. The mother’s repression of her husband’s memory (“locked his name / in her deepest cabinet”) and her violent outburst (“ripped it into shreds”) reveal her unresolved grief and anger. The speaker’s lingering pain (“still burning”) suggests the lasting psychological impact of childhood trauma. - Feminist Theory:
The mother’s actions can be interpreted through the lens of societal expectations placed on women, particularly widows. Her inability to forgive the father and her violent reaction to the portrait reflect her struggle with the emotional burden of her husband’s suicide and her role as a single parent. - Trauma Theory:
The poem vividly captures the intergenerational trauma caused by the father’s suicide. The speaker’s description of the event (“when I was waiting to be born”) and his enduring pain (“still burning”) illustrate how trauma transcends time and continues to affect individuals long after the initial event. - Reader-Response Theory:
The poem’s emotional depth and vivid imagery invite readers to connect with the speaker’s experiences. The mother’s silent destruction of the portrait and the speaker’s burning cheek evoke strong emotional responses, allowing readers to reflect on their own experiences with grief and memory.
Critical Questions about “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
1. How does the poem explore the theme of intergenerational trauma?
“The Portrait” vividly portrays the transmission of trauma from one generation to the next. The father’s suicide, which occurred “that spring / when I was waiting to be born,” marks the beginning of the speaker’s lifelong struggle with his father’s absence and his mother’s unresolved grief. The mother’s repression of her emotions—”she locked his name / in her deepest cabinet”—and her violent reaction to the portrait—”she ripped it into shreds / without a single word / and slapped me hard”—demonstrate how her pain is transferred to the speaker. The speaker’s reflection, “In my sixty-fourth year / I can feel my cheek / still burning,” underscores the lasting impact of this trauma, showing how the wounds of the past continue to affect him decades later. Through these moments, the poem illustrates how trauma can echo across generations.
2. What role does the portrait play in the poem?
The portrait serves as a powerful symbol of the father’s memory and the speaker’s attempt to connect with him. When the speaker discovers the portrait in the attic, it depicts “a long-lipped stranger / with a brave moustache / and deep brown level eyes,” humanizing the father and making him more tangible. However, the mother’s destruction of the portrait—”she ripped it into shreds”—symbolizes her refusal to confront the past and her inability to move beyond her grief. For the speaker, the portrait represents a lost connection and a desire to understand his father, but its destruction highlights the impossibility of fully reconciling with the past. The portrait thus becomes a focal point for the poem’s exploration of memory, identity, and loss.
3. How does the mother’s character shape the poem’s emotional landscape?
The mother is central to the poem’s emotional depth, embodying unresolved grief and repressed anger. Her refusal to forgive the father—”My mother never forgave my father / for killing himself”—and her act of locking his name away—”she locked his name / in her deepest cabinet”—reveal her inability to process her pain. Her violent reaction to the portrait—”she ripped it into shreds / without a single word / and slapped me hard”—further underscores her emotional turmoil. The mother’s actions create a tense and painful atmosphere, shaping the speaker’s own experience of trauma and loss. Her character serves as a reminder of how unprocessed grief can manifest in destructive ways, affecting not only the individual but also those around them.
4. How does the poem use imagery to convey its themes?
“The Portrait” employs vivid imagery to evoke the poem’s themes of memory, trauma, and loss. The description of the father’s suicide “in a public park” creates a stark visual of the event’s public and humiliating nature. The “deepest cabinet” where the mother locks the father’s name symbolizes repressed emotions and buried memories. The portrait itself, with its depiction of “a long-lipped stranger / with a brave moustache / and deep brown level eyes,” provides a tangible connection to the father, while its destruction—”she ripped it into shreds”—visually represents the mother’s rejection of the past. Finally, the image of the speaker’s “cheek / still burning” in his sixty-fourth year powerfully conveys the lasting emotional and physical impact of childhood trauma. Through these images, the poem brings its themes to life, making them visceral and unforgettable.
Literary Works Similar to “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
- “Daddy” by Sylvia Plath
Similarity: Both poems explore complex relationships with a deceased father and the lingering emotional scars left by their absence, using vivid and often painful imagery. - “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke
Similarity: This poem, like “The Portrait,” delves into the ambiguous and emotionally charged relationship between a child and a father, blending love and pain in its portrayal of memory. - “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden
Similarity: Both poems reflect on the sacrifices and emotional distance of a father, highlighting the speaker’s retrospective understanding of their parent’s struggles and the weight of unspoken grief. - “The Glass Essay” by Anne Carson
Similarity: This poem, like “The Portrait,” examines the impact of a parent’s emotional turmoil on their child, weaving together themes of loss, memory, and the search for identity. - “Elegy for My Father, Who Is Not Dead” by Andrew Hudgins
Similarity: Both poems grapple with the inevitability of a father’s death and the unresolved emotions it leaves behind, exploring how grief shapes the living.
Representative Quotations of “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
Quotation | Context | Theoretical Perspective |
“My mother never forgave my father / for killing himself” | The poem opens with the speaker revealing his mother’s enduring resentment toward his father’s suicide, setting the tone for the exploration of unresolved grief and familial tension. | Psychoanalytic Theory: Highlights the mother’s repressed emotions and the psychological impact of the father’s suicide on the family dynamic. |
“especially at such an awkward time / and in a public park” | The father’s suicide is described as occurring at an inconvenient and public moment, adding layers of shame and humiliation to the family’s grief. | Trauma Theory: Emphasizes the public and personal dimensions of trauma, showing how the timing and location of the suicide amplify its emotional weight . |
“that spring / when I was waiting to be born” | The speaker connects his father’s death to his own impending birth, creating a paradox of life and death that frames his existence. | Existential Theory: Explores the interplay between life and death, and how the speaker’s identity is shaped by the absence of his father. |
“She locked his name / in her deepest cabinet / and would not let him out” | The mother’s act of locking away the father’s name symbolizes her attempt to suppress her grief and erase his memory, though it remains unresolved. | Feminist Theory: Examines the mother’s struggle with societal expectations and her role as a widow, highlighting her emotional repression and its impact on the family. |
“though I could hear him thumping” | Despite the mother’s efforts to bury the father’s memory, the speaker feels his presence as a persistent, unresolved force in his life. | Psychoanalytic Theory: Suggests the unconscious persistence of repressed memories and their influence on the speaker’s psyche. |
“When I came down from the attic / with the pastel portrait in my hand” | The speaker discovers a portrait of his father, symbolizing his attempt to connect with the man he never knew. | Memory Studies: Highlights the role of objects (like the portrait) in preserving and evoking memory, as well as the speaker’s desire to understand his father. |
“of a long-lipped stranger / with a brave moustache / and deep brown level eyes” | The speaker describes the father in the portrait as a “stranger,” emphasizing the emotional and physical distance between them. | Identity Theory: Explores the speaker’s struggle to reconcile his identity with the absence of a father figure, portraying the father as both familiar and alien. |
“she ripped it into shreds / without a single word / and slapped me hard” | The mother’s violent reaction to the portrait symbolizes her inability to confront the past and her transfer of pain to the speaker. | Trauma Theory: Illustrates the intergenerational transmission of trauma, as the mother’s unresolved grief manifests in violence toward her child. |
“In my sixty-fourth year / I can feel my cheek / still burning” | The speaker reflects on the lasting emotional and physical impact of his mother’s slap, showing how childhood trauma continues to affect him in old age. | Psychoanalytic Theory: Demonstrates the enduring nature of childhood trauma and its ability to shape an individual’s emotional landscape over a lifetime. |
“though I could hear him thumping” | The repeated mention of the father’s “thumping” suggests the inescapable presence of his memory, despite the mother’s efforts to suppress it. | Memory Studies: Explores how repressed memories resurface and haunt individuals, emphasizing the persistence of the past in shaping the present. |
Suggested Readings: “The Portrait” by Stanley Kunitz
- ORR, GREGORY. “On: The Poems Of Stanley Kunitz (1928-1978).” The American Poetry Review, vol. 9, no. 4, 1980, pp. 36–41. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/27776492. Accessed 25 Jan. 2025.
- Gorrell, Nancy. “Taking off the Mask: Teaching the Recurring Image in Poetry Writing.” The English Journal, vol. 79, no. 7, 1990, pp. 27–29. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/818712. Accessed 25 Jan. 2025.
- Parker, Donald G., et al. “An Interview with Stanley Kunitz.” Conversations with Stanley Kunitz, edited by Kent P. Ljungquist, University Press of Mississippi, 2013, pp. 165–77. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt2tvndc.21. Accessed 25 Jan. 2025.
- KUNITZ, STANLEY. “STANLEY KUNITZ.” Lofty Dogmas: Poets on Poetics, edited by DEBORAH BROWN et al., University of Arkansas Press, 2005, pp. 206–11. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctvmx3j3j.59. Accessed 25 Jan. 2025.